Deb Sofield


Rules for the Road

Optimism Is a Happiness Magnet

Recently, I saw the quote from Mary Lou Retton that, “Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” Now I will say the opposite is also true if you are a negative, the-world-is-against-me type of person. Guess what? If that’s how you are, the world will be against you. Why? Because you are a making it hard to be around you. Yes, you are causing the few people who can abide you to find other options for dinner, the movies or a day at the lake. We all have […]

Change Your Life

For fun, this week I used Google and asked, “how to change your life,” and, lo and behold, you would not believe all the options that are just waiting for you and me to sign up and get going. Most of them had a multi-point-plan for us to get going, and others just laid it on the line for what we should and shouldn’t be doing to change our lives. After I read through the multiple lists of options, I had to laugh, because, although they all promised success in 429 easy steps, the fact is that none of it […]

The Emotion of Greed

This is the last part in my series on Emotions That Are Causing You Great Harm, and I am going to finish with one emotion that is as dangerous as the one I started with. If you will remember, that was anger, because anger is a cancer to your soul and does great damage to others. So I want to talk about one more emotion that can wreck your life and that is greed. And that’s my theme for today. Let me do a quick rundown on the emotions I’ve spoken about in this series. If you want to learn […]

Don’t Hold on to Grudges

I have been thinking about a few clients that I work with, and have come to realize that there is one thing that seems to hold many of them back from being amazing rock star speakers. That one thing is an old hurt from someone in their past who is now irrelevant and who basically told them they were awful speakers and to keep quiet. Now I don’t know what the teacher or another adult actually said, but to a young person, what they heard was, “Don’t open your mouth again.” And here we are years later, and the idea […]

Be a weed

So by now, you know that little things in life make me wonder. Big things make me wonder too, like how many stars are in the universe and what are we going to do about the trash in our oceans and overfishing by some countries.  But sometimes my mind seeks to know how little things work, like how is it that a dandelion–you know, the little yellow flowering weed with a thick stem and hairy little leaves that I can crush with my hand and have it wither away quickly–can push its way up through asphalt, the road that my […]

Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly of you no one would believe it

My friends send me email jokes and cartoons all the time; in fact I had a few friends I had to ask to put me on the weekly list and not the daily emails. I have no idea what they do all day that allows them to surf the web and send their network 20-30 jokes and stories all day-but good for them. A while back I get this one and I liked it…it said, Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly of you no one would believe it. Wouldn’t that be great? What if you […]

You don’t need more time, you just need to decide

“You don’t need more time, you just need to decide” – Seth Godin I don’t know about you, but I always need more time – a few more hours in my day. I know we all have the same 24 hours, but, for some reason, I lose a few and end up running late or behind schedule much more than I like. And that’s a problem, since I have no patience for those who are chronically late. It’s my pet peeve, and yet I do it also. I saw this statement online the other day from Seth Godin, and, in […]

The Emotion of Shame

I am continuing with my theme of emotions, which are causing you harm, because I want you to understand that you are more than how you feel, and that you can (with help) heal the damaged places in your heart and mind. So let’s continue… Today I want to talk with you about shame, which is closely related to but different from guilt. Probably the best definition I have heard of shame is that it’s a failure to meet your own standard of behavior, whereas guilt is a failure to meet others’ standards of behavior. This is the difference we’re […]

Your Two Most Valuable Assets

In a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, hotelier Ben Weprin said, “The best business advice I’ve ever received came from Sam Zell, who told me the most important thing is Shem Tov, which means your name and your integrity. Make all your decisions upon protecting those. I am an avid reader, and I love the WSJ for the front page, the personal and the weekend edition listings of all the amazing homes for sale. In the Life section, they feature celebrities and a listing of about twenty questions. In one of the questions, the idea of business advice […]