Deb Sofield


Change Your Life

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For fun, this week I used Google and asked, “how to change your life,” and, lo and behold, you would not believe all the options that are just waiting for you and me to sign up and get going. Most of them had a multi-point-plan for us to get going, and others just laid it on the line for what we should and shouldn’t be doing to change our lives.

After I read through the multiple lists of options, I had to laugh, because, although they all promised success in 429 easy steps, the fact is that none of it would be easy to do no matter what they promised for the amazingly fantastic outcome they were crowing about.

Ah, friend, I wish it were easy, really, I do. I wish it could magically happen without me having to do any work, but, alas, that is not the way life works. You know it, I know it; the world knows it, and, yet, we still hold out for the easy ride to make our simple lives amazing.

So in my effort to help you (and me) figure out how to change our lives, I want to focus on three simple ideas. Before I go there, let me share with you just a handful of the other options I learned about:

  • Ask the 35 special questions that will change your life
  • 25 Science-Backed Ways to Change Your Life by Taking Better Care of Yourself
  • The Simple Elimination Diet That Could Change Your Life Forever
  • 11 morning rituals that set you up to have the best day possible-everyday!
  • 46 Quotes From Reddit That Will Change Your Life For the Better: Words can move you, make you happier, and motivate you.
  • 89 Simple Swaps That Could Change Your Life
  • 200 Brilliant Uses For Coconut Oil That Will Change Your Life Forever
  • 17 Freezer Meal Prep Sessions That Will Change Your Life
  • 20 Things To Do Now That Will Make Your Life Better In Five Years
  • 10 small things that you could do to completely change your life over the course of one year, if you do them systematically and consecutively
  • How this Turmeric Smoothie can change your life.
  • 9 Morning Detox Rituals That Will Change Your Life
  • 10 Confucius Quotes That Will Change Your Life
  • How A Solo Vacation Can Change Your Life.
  • 23 Profound Disney Quotes That Will Actually Change Your Life
  • 29 life changes quesadillas you need to know about
  • 39 S’mores Hacks That Will Change Your Life

Without a doubt, I know that you’re blown away with such new knowledge…but I had to share.

I love the quote, “Never assume that you’re stuck with the way things are right now. You aren’t. Things can change if you want them to, at any age. Life changes every single moment, and so can you.”

 Friend, do you believe that?

Things can change if you want them to, at any age. Life changes every single moment, and so can you.

The reason I punched up the age line, is that I hear a lot people who tell me that they are too old or too young to change and, frankly, that is just not true, so let’s quickly look at three things that I believe will help you on your path to changing your life for the better:

  1. I strongly believe that you need to develop a positive thinking mindset. Really, there is no other way to grow your life without understanding that what you say to yourself affects you in every area of your life, so, starting today, why don’t you talk to yourself as if you like you. Consider working on the premise of acting like you like you…and you just might. I have a friend who always says, act as if, so, let’s act as if.
  1. For you to find joy and happiness in your life, enough to change your life, friend, you need to eliminate the non-essentials that are holding you back from living your best life ever. I know I speak about this a lot, but unfortunately I have not convinced some of you that living lighter is better, and that cleaning out your overburdened life and stuff is perhaps the simplest thing you can do to change your life.
  1. Probably the hardest action to take in changing your life is for you to kill your comfort zone, and stretch yourself and walk a new path for your new life.

Let me start with the concept that you need to develop a positive thinking mindset. I am often referred to as a motivational speaker, and although that is a nice way to be described, I don’t really think that is my calling. Sure, when I was younger, that was the ideal of a speaking career, but I frankly find that somewhat shallow, and I prefer to be known as a motivational teacher who just happens to be a speaker. There is a difference for me in the value of the thought. Of course the idea of teaching, for me, is in a sense a deeper dive into the minds of my listeners to instill real life-changing ideas instead of motivating them. I don’t know how you do that for someone for an hour or two so they feel good, and then you send them home still feeling good but with no actionable items to really help them the next day, and the next day…and the next to change their lives for the better.

When people think about motivational speakers, I am afraid the dime-a-dozen, made-to-order speakers (those are the shysters who tell you they can speak on any subject) have damaged the brand of what I like to call a positive thinking mindset. There is real value in forcing your mind to sweep away the darkness and push against your sad, self-absorbed view of life to see a glimmer of light and hope, and that only happens when you choose to look up and see the light instead of looking down at your current circumstances.

Friends, the reason it is important that you develop a positive mindset is that you can’t change what’s going on around you until you start changing what’s going on within you!

Because, as Jean Houston says, “If you keep telling the same sad small story, you will keep living the same sad small life.”

Zig Ziglar said it best, “You cannot perform in a manner inconsistent with the way you see yourself.” That is why you need to develop a positive thinking mindset to keep you focused on the current view of your amazing life.

I also believe that you need to eliminate the non-essentials that are holding you back from doing the things you want to do, going the places you want to go and pursuing the dreams you’ve set aside.

If I were to ask you what is really a non-essential in your life—what could you get rid of today—that would allow some space in your head to give you a bit of freedom to think new and big thoughts, would you be dumping that ever-growing pile of magazines and newspapers that are filling up the floor…that you plan to read one day? Imagine, with them gone, what else would you put in that space (and don’t say more magazines)? Or how about the broken equipment and toys that are in the closet or garage? With them tossed out, could you put your car in the garage, or make it a man cave or clean space for crafts and woodworking projects? Or perhaps it is the old car in the yard that you could donate or sell and take that money and buy something you’ve wanted.

When you think about the statement that time will pass, anyway, you can spend it creating the life you want, or spend it living the life you don’t want. The choice is yours.

Ah, friends, please consider eliminating the non-essentials in your life. Anything that takes up space that you haven’t touched or used or needed in the past, oh, 15 years, I doubt you’ll need tomorrow, and, if you do, then a newer model will be more efficient in your time management then the old one you tossed.

If you’ve wanted to travel or do anything that is on your bucket list, please consider getting rid of or selling or trading your non-essential stuff to create a financial fund to make it happen and create the space to give you what you need today… because, as Steve Maraboli says, “Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” Make a choice for your better life.

And, finally, I’m going to ask you to get out of your comfort zone; in fact, you should consider killing your comfort zone to stretch yourself until it hurts—really hurts—and then walk a new path for your new life instead of staying where you are. That is how you change your life, my friend.

It’s been said that great things never came from comfort zones. That’s the truth. I mean, how could it if you never get up and out and get moving to see and do and become what you at one point in your life dreamed about?

Ah, tell me, where did those dreams go? Where did you bury them and why? It is not too late to dig up those old bones of dreams gone by, but time is slipping away… so let me remind you that in the blink of an eye, everything can change. And it will change for good or bad depending on your choices in your comfort zone. Friend, if you have not grown in your life, how interesting do you think you will be to others? If you have stayed the same without taking advantage of opportunities all around you, friend, you have lived your life in the zone of mind-numbing, tedious, boring, dull and dreary life-killing contentment. (Those are all the words I could think of to describe this awful predicament).

I love the quote from Maya Angelou who said, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” Hear me, when you kill your comfort zone, you will finally have a space in which you can now decide where you’ll go next.

By the way, this will be the hardest thing you do. It is never easy walking away from what you know and, frankly, what is comfortable. Miserable, but comfortable, since it is what you identify with. For some, living miserable is better than upsetting the apple cart of life.

I don’t know how you do it, and I don’t know why you choose to live so small when you were put here to have life and to live life abundantly. Life is for the taking to do big, glorious, exciting, magnificent, superb, wonderful and marvelous things! How dare you rot in your comfort zone?

All right, I know that I have pushed some of you to the edge and I do it because I know—I just know—that some today needed to be reminded that…

YOU can change your life at any time you choose.

Choose wisely, my friends.

Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield is a Keynote Speaker, Author of the book, Speak without Fear – Rock Star Presentation Skills to get People to Hear What You Say and Encouragement For Your Life ~ Tough Love Memos to Help You Fight Your Battles and Change the World, Radio Talk Show Host in the Salem Network, Podcaster and President of her own Executive Speech Coaching Co., which trains women and men for success in speaking, crisis communications, presentation skills, media and message development in the U.S. and abroad.

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