Deb Sofield

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Rules for the Road

It’s not what happens to you

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. Epictetus There is no easy way to say it and no need to sugar coat the truth that for many could be life-changing, so I’ll hit you straight up and remind you that “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” You know this to be true, and yet it is so hard to let offenses, real and imagined, go without a fight or at least a great put-you-in-your-place-amazingly-smart-aleck comment. Recently, I was speaking at a leadership luncheon, and I […]

What would you do if you knew you would die today

Not the headline you’re use to seeing, but recently I was catching up on my reading and came across my AARP magazine (you know, the magazine that reminds us all that we’re over 50 and are on the slippery downhill slope) and the words of the question about having just a few more hours to live jumped off the page at me, and I thought to myself, well, what would I do in the 9 hours I have left? Honestly, I was torn between organizing who would get what and feeling sorry for myself for not having eaten my way […]

I Get by With a Little Help From My Friends

I always liked that Beatles song. Most of them I’m ambivalent about, but something about the tune and truth of having strength in numbers makes me feel safe in the world today. Like many of you, I have groups of friends for different aspects of my life. I have church friends, work friends, former work friends, political friends (former political friends), my mom’s friends, my brothers’ friends and my sweet neighbors. I even have a small group of more mature friends whose company I love. In the midst of it all, I have a small group of trusted friends that […]

It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine

“It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine.”—Eeyore It has been a week. I can’t remember when, in the course of a holiday weekend, I have seen so much sadness and pain and frustration and disappointment. I’m not sure if it’s the moon in its phases, or life is just hard with all that is expected of us. Kids back in school, football teams winning and losing or financial issues that seem to plague even the most stable of families, or kids gone bad and parents are at wits end. Life is hard—I know you know that—and, although we don’t […]

If you want something new, you have to stop

“If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old.” ― Peter F. Drucker I received a lot of comments from last week’s show about the limiting beliefs that so many people have that hold them down–mentally, emotionally or physically–or they still have silly, old beliefs that keep them away from what they consider their true calling. And while money was part of the equation for many, the other part, which, frankly, surprised me, was the idea that so many people think that they are too old or are too set in their ways or too far down […]

To Life

As I walked into his room, he was quiet for a moment, with raspy heavy breathing, lying there on the bed. All of a sudden, he started reaching up to the ceiling as if to pick apples from a tree, one by one, and bring them to earth (or in this case his bed). Apple picking—that is what the Hospice nurse said he was doing. They say that at the end of life, many times people will reach up and pull down something from thin air that they seem to be able to see. As I watched my friend seriously […]

Push Yourself Because No One Is Going to Do It for You

Push Yourself Because No One Is Going to Do It for You When I was thinking about what to share this week, I tussled with a few ideas that I wanted to use to encourage you knowing that there are a lot of things going on in your life right now. So, understanding that you are busy, let me be your personal motivator to remind you to continue to push yourself because no one is going to do it for you. Whether it is getting the family ready for school, or re-organizing your life for the new year or simply […]

If You’re Tired of Starting Over – Quit Giving Up

If You’re Tired of Starting Over — Quit Giving Up I love the quote, If you’re tired of starting over—quit giving up. I am not sure who said it, but, wow, if there was ever a billboard that we should put up around the world, it’s this one. If you’re tired of starting over—quit giving up. I hear people say all the time that they are tired of always having to start over, and so many times I want to ask the obvious question of why did you stop? Really, why did you stop your diet? Why did you stop […]

Try Approving of Yourself

So the other night I half-heartedly watched a thread of a conversation unfold on Facebook, and it reminded me of an odd habit that I am seeing in so many people these days, which is being unusually mean and harsh about themselves in a public setting for the sheer purpose to draw attention to themselves and have others heap undue praise on them to help settle them down. They post sad comments and then eagerly wait for their “friends” to reply to the post, proving that they have value and that the sad sack isn’t that bad, that mean, that […]