Deb Sofield


You are the message

You are the message Recently I was having dinner with my friend Reba, and she and were talking about one’s life being the message they send to the world and that got me to thinking about the title of an old political book I read years ago by Roger Ailes called, You Are the Message. For me it was a book for those considering a life in public office, to remind us that every deed, every word; every action is a reflection of who we are and how we would be seen by others. From the website about the […]

The Emotion of Shame

I am continuing with my theme of emotions, which are causing you harm, because I want you to understand that you are more than how you feel, and that you can (with help) heal the damaged places in your heart and mind. So let’s continue… Today I want to talk with you about shame, which is closely related to but different from guilt. Probably the best definition I have heard of shame is that it’s a failure to meet your own standard of behavior, whereas guilt is a failure to meet others’ standards of behavior. This is the difference we’re […]

Do What Is Best for You

Recently I was listening to a story about the famous basketball player Rick Barry, and his underhand free throw shot that he made popular back in the day. It was a great story that he told about why he crafted his underhand toss and how it became a force for free throw points for his team. He recounted for the reporter that his underhand toss never took off in the big leagues because of the simple fact that no one wanted to be seen as doing a “granny shot.” Imagine that, being so cowed by others that many basketball players […]

The reason most people give up is because

Today I want to encourage you to keep on keeping on. I saw a quote recently that said, “The reason most people give up is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come.” And isn’t that true? Most people do give up because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come. For many of us, we become discouraged at what seems to be either lack of progress, or how slow the journey has been or how long […]

If only our eyes saw souls

“If only our eyes saw souls instead of bodies, how very different our ideals of beauty would be.” ~ Unknown I came across a funny video the other day about how young people view older people. I’m posting the video here. How funny to watch the youngsters act out how an “old” person would walk across the street, text a message or do a jumping jack. And then to see them blown away by the attitudes and actions of these elders is simply a fun way to waste a few minutes of your day, and it shows us all how […]

Push Against the Wind of Anger

Recently I was on a flight that felt like a roller coaster with the wind jostling and jerking the plane to the right and to the left. After a while, we did even out and the flight was typical, but in those few moments, I began to think about how to overcome the turbulence we were experiencing. I know I have mentioned this before, but a few years ago, I took a few flying lessons to see if I was cut out to pilot my own plane to my speaking events, and in my private flight lessons I learned pretty […]

No Act of Kindness Is Ever Wasted

No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted!  Aesop Well, I am back to my favorite theme again—kindness. And I am pretty sure you’ll agree with me, that the world at this very moment could use a little bit more kindness. Why? Because, friends, kindness matters—today, tomorrow and the next day. We just had Mothers Day, and I hope you took the time to show kindness toward mom, whatever your relationship. Today I want to talk about not only the value of kindness towards others, but also for you, as well. I love the quote that No act of […]

What’s in The Well, Comes Up in The Bucket

Recently, I was listening to the commencement address by Tyler Perry at Tuskegee University and, in his remarks, he made this statement: “What’s in the well, comes up in the bucket.” ( It is the first time I had heard this phrase and it just stuck with me, because it seems to be the perfect southern phrase of how life really is no matter what it seems like on the outside. I get that everyone wants to appear successful to friends and family (and enemies), and good for those who have made it because, no doubt, it took work to […]

If You Want to Leave a Footprint

If You Want to Leave a Footprint Don’t Drag Your Feet I came across today’s theme by accident when I was looking for some other information about leaving a legacy that I spoke about last week.          If you want to leave a footprint don’t drag your feet.—Arnot L. Sheppard This quote just stuck with me, so much so that I couldn’t shake it to work on something else. There is just something about the phrase that makes me stop and think…probably because I am very mindful that we will all leave a legacy of some sort, but in addition […]