Deb Sofield

Training

The Emotion of Frustration

I am continuing with my series on emotions. I started the series with the emotion of anger because anger is a cancer to your soul. So, to have any chance for a successful and happy life, friend, you have to let it go. Then I talked about the pain of personal shame. Shame is a Failure to Meet Your Own Standard of Behavior, and this emotion will wreck your life if you’re not careful. And I added in the thought that you should stop thinking that others have to accept your forgiveness for you to be forgiven. They don’t. Once […]

Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly of you no one would believe it

My friends send me email jokes and cartoons all the time; in fact I had a few friends I had to ask to put me on the weekly list and not the daily emails. I have no idea what they do all day that allows them to surf the web and send their network 20-30 jokes and stories all day-but good for them. A while back I get this one and I liked it…it said, Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly of you no one would believe it. Wouldn’t that be great? What if you […]

Curiosity

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu, Yes, that is my headline for today, but stay with me and learn why. I don’t know about you, but when I see something new, I file it away for a rainy day to pull out and review when I have some free time. I’ve been on the road for a few weeks now speaking at conferences, and when I was unpacking this week, I pulled out a crumpled piece of paper that was stuffed in my suitcase and it had this word (above) written at the top with the notation that it has 85 letters in the name. […]

Set Your Life on Fire

Because of my being a speaker, I have the opportunity to travel around the world teaching public speaking, presentation and media skills to elected officials or those who would like to be. When I was speaking in the Middle East a while back, I was training some dynamic up-and-coming young women who were seeking a seat on their local council and one day at lunch I noticed that one of the ladies was reading a book of poetry by Rumi, a Persian poet and philosopher. It struck me as unusual that someone would be carrying around a book of ancient […]

Sometimes Holding On Does More Damage Than Letting Go

As much as we like to hang on because we all like to feel like it is the right thing to do in our personal lives or at the office or with a friend, sometimes it might be best to just let go, because sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. Now, to be fair, that is hard to do. I don’t think most of us are wired to let go; I believe we’re wired to try, try, try and try again to make relationships work, office politics work out to some manageable agreement or to stay connected […]

Garbage In, Garbage Out

Seriously, I have no idea why people watch TV. Consider this a rant (and forgive me if you feel otherwise): in the space of two minutes of my clicking through TV channels in my hotel room, I saw horrifying and gruesome abuse (directed towards women), physical beatings of men and women, vulgar language and inappropriate insinuation of harm to kids. And we wonder what is wrong with our world! I have never been a big TV watcher. I taught myself years ago to put down the remote down and pick up a book. While I love any TV adventure that […]

The Emotion of Jealousy

I am going to continue with my theme of emotions, which are causing you harm… because I want you to understand that you are more than how you feel, and you can (with help) heal the damaged places in your heart and mind. My first lesson was about anger, last week I talked about shame and this week I want to talk about jealousy. Oh, jealousy, the green-eyed monster that will wreck your perfectly happy home and make you (a normal person) become insane with rage and keep you at night fretting over things you can’t control. Other words for […]

Normal Is for Others. Amazing Is for You.

Recently I was speaking at a conference, and one of the other speakers quoted Maya Angelou, “If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” And I got to thinking that is a really great thought, IF you could convince yourself to let go of the low expectations you have placed on yourself, and then consider how working to be amazing would be a game changer for the rest of your life. What I have seen is that many people work and strive for “normal” (whatever that is), and in doing so, they give just enough instead of knocking […]

Outside of the Box

I was reading an article online last week and came across an interesting job interview question for one of my clients that dealt with thinking outside of the box. I know you’ve heard that phrase over and over, so it is not new, but I wonder why so many seem to stay in their boxes instead of moving forward, sideward or upwards in life? Is it because they are so comfortable in the rut of sameness? Or have they ground their wheels so deep into the mud that they can never get out and go anywhere interesting? You’re familiar with […]