Deb Sofield

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Respect

The Emotion of Scarcity

I was on a plane this week and read an interesting book called Scarcity by Sendhil Mullainathan and Eldar Shafir. It was thought provoking from the standpoint that many people make serious life decisions based on a scarcity mindset. The book’s definition of scarcity is having less then you feel you need. Now, that definition is important on many levels, but today I want to discuss a few thoughts that really stood out to me especially when I think about how the mental emotion of scarcity can limit your vision for your life and your hopes and dreams for your […]

Set Your Life on Fire

Because of my being a speaker, I have the opportunity to travel around the world teaching public speaking, presentation and media skills to elected officials or those who would like to be. When I was speaking in the Middle East a while back, I was training some dynamic up-and-coming young women who were seeking a seat on their local council and one day at lunch I noticed that one of the ladies was reading a book of poetry by Rumi, a Persian poet and philosopher. It struck me as unusual that someone would be carrying around a book of ancient […]

If You Want To Be Trusted Be Honest

Seems like a no brainer to be honest, but you and I know that some of our friends will skirt the truth for various reasons, none being worth the damage that a lie will yield. It makes perfect sense as you go through life, that if you want to be trusted, be honest. I had a friend who was notorious for telling (as she would explain) “little white lies,” as compared to green or blue lies, I guess. She wouldn’t even blink when telling a “little” mistruth, and over time I started to wonder where the “little lie” stopped and […]

The Emotion of Worry

I am continuing with my series on emotions. I started with anger because anger really hurts you and those around you. Remember, anger is a cancer to your soul. So, to have a happy life you have to let it go. Then I talked about the pain of shame. Shame is a Failure to Meet Your Own Standard of Behavior, and this emotion will play havoc in your life if you’re not careful. And I added in the thought that you that you should stop thinking that others have to accept your forgiveness for you to be forgiven. They don’t. […]

The Emotion of Jealousy

I am going to continue with my theme of emotions, which are causing you harm… because I want you to understand that you are more than how you feel, and you can (with help) heal the damaged places in your heart and mind. My first lesson was about anger, last week I talked about shame and this week I want to talk about jealousy. Oh, jealousy, the green-eyed monster that will wreck your perfectly happy home and make you (a normal person) become insane with rage and keep you at night fretting over things you can’t control. Other words for […]

Normal Is for Others. Amazing Is for You.

Recently I was speaking at a conference, and one of the other speakers quoted Maya Angelou, “If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” And I got to thinking that is a really great thought, IF you could convince yourself to let go of the low expectations you have placed on yourself, and then consider how working to be amazing would be a game changer for the rest of your life. What I have seen is that many people work and strive for “normal” (whatever that is), and in doing so, they give just enough instead of knocking […]

You are the message

You are the message Recently I was having dinner with my friend Reba, and she and were talking about one’s life being the message they send to the world and that got me to thinking about the title of an old political book I read years ago by Roger Ailes called, You Are the Message. For me it was a book for those considering a life in public office, to remind us that every deed, every word; every action is a reflection of who we are and how we would be seen by others. From the Amazon.com website about the […]

The Emotion of Shame

I am continuing with my theme of emotions, which are causing you harm, because I want you to understand that you are more than how you feel, and that you can (with help) heal the damaged places in your heart and mind. So let’s continue… Today I want to talk with you about shame, which is closely related to but different from guilt. Probably the best definition I have heard of shame is that it’s a failure to meet your own standard of behavior, whereas guilt is a failure to meet others’ standards of behavior. This is the difference we’re […]

Your Two Most Valuable Assets

In a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, hotelier Ben Weprin said, “The best business advice I’ve ever received came from Sam Zell, who told me the most important thing is Shem Tov, which means your name and your integrity. Make all your decisions upon protecting those. I am an avid reader, and I love the WSJ for the front page, the personal and the weekend edition listings of all the amazing homes for sale. In the Life section, they feature celebrities and a listing of about twenty questions. In one of the questions, the idea of business advice […]