Deb Sofield

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Respect

Don’t Hold on to Grudges

I have been thinking about a few clients that I work with, and have come to realize that there is one thing that seems to hold many of them back from being amazing rock star speakers. That one thing is an old hurt from someone in their past who is now irrelevant and who basically told them they were awful speakers and to keep quiet. Now I don’t know what the teacher or another adult actually said, but to a young person, what they heard was, “Don’t open your mouth again.” And here we are years later, and the idea […]

The Past is a Place of Reference Not a Place of Residence

I had a client tell me about a family situation that happened while she was in high school, in which, due to unforeseen circumstances and due to the economy, her family had to declare bankruptcy, and, in the blink of an eye, their lives had changed. Although that would be traumatic for any young person, this young lady’s parents held the family together, vowing to rebuild and continuing to provide to the best of their ability for their kids. Instead of allowing that experience to define this amazing young woman’s future, she simply used it as a place of reference […]

The Emotion of Fear

I am continuing with my series on emotions. I started the series with the emotion of anger because anger is a cancer to your soul. So, to have any chance for a successful and happy life, friend, you have to let it go. Then I talked about the pain of personal shame. Shame is a Failure to Meet Your Own Standard of Behavior, and this emotion will wreck your life if you’re not careful. And I added in the thought that you should stop thinking that others have to accept your forgiveness for you to be forgiven. They don’t. Once […]

Clutter is wrecking your self-worth

I have written about the issue of clutter in our lives a few times, but I keep coming back to it because I find, over and over, that there just might be that one thing that you’re holding on to that is actually holding you back from achieving what you want in your life. When I talk about clutter, I don’t just mean that you need to clean out the attic or garage (although those are good places to start). For a bigger life impact, you might want to consider tossing out a few things that are more personal to […]

Be a weed

So by now, you know that little things in life make me wonder. Big things make me wonder too, like how many stars are in the universe and what are we going to do about the trash in our oceans and overfishing by some countries.  But sometimes my mind seeks to know how little things work, like how is it that a dandelion–you know, the little yellow flowering weed with a thick stem and hairy little leaves that I can crush with my hand and have it wither away quickly–can push its way up through asphalt, the road that my […]

The Kindness of Strangers

I am sure at some time or another when you least expected it, a “stranger” helped you. The kindness of strangers–completely unexpected, gratefully accepted and long remembered. It sometimes happens when a thought flashes in your mind, I could use some help here. And suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, someone comes to your aid answering your silent prayer or your out-loud-request to any and all visiting angels to hurry and help. I can remember many times when I uttered a prayer or word or even a thought that flickered through my mind requesting help when, lo and behold, someone in […]

The Emotion of Frustration

I am continuing with my series on emotions. I started the series with the emotion of anger because anger is a cancer to your soul. So, to have any chance for a successful and happy life, friend, you have to let it go. Then I talked about the pain of personal shame. Shame is a Failure to Meet Your Own Standard of Behavior, and this emotion will wreck your life if you’re not careful. And I added in the thought that you should stop thinking that others have to accept your forgiveness for you to be forgiven. They don’t. Once […]

Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly of you no one would believe it

My friends send me email jokes and cartoons all the time; in fact I had a few friends I had to ask to put me on the weekly list and not the daily emails. I have no idea what they do all day that allows them to surf the web and send their network 20-30 jokes and stories all day-but good for them. A while back I get this one and I liked it…it said, Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly of you no one would believe it. Wouldn’t that be great? What if you […]

3 Things I Need Each Day

With the 4th of July upon us, I think it best to let you rest and have a time of reflection on the holiday. That being said, if you can spare just a little over four minutes, I’d encourage you to watch this video clip of Matthew McConaughey’s acceptance speech upon winning Best Actor at the Oscars a few years ago. His short message of 3 Things I Need Each Day has deep meaning, and it is one of the few clips that I keep on my computer because I agree with him on the idea that we each need: 1) Something […]