Deb Sofield, Author at Deb Sofield

Don’t Be a Clapper

Recently, in an interview session, I asked my client what was the best advice she’d ever received, and she replied, “Don’t be a clapper.” What, I said, “What does that mean”? She said that all her life, her parents had told her never to stand on the sideline of life but to jump into whatever opportunity came her way so she wouldn’t be one of the crowd, the audience, or those in the stands, enjoying the action but never participating in the thrilling excitement of the game, the sweat and tears of the action. She said that those sideline people

The only person you are destined to become

The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. Ralph Waldo Emerson Decisions, decisions, decisions. They are such a big part of our everyday life, and no matter how many times you and I decide to go with the flow and let life “work out,” in the end, we all make decisions that will have a lasting impact. I like today’s thought because, once again, it is a reminder that we all choose our outcome. I know that many will argue with me on that thought because they have bought into the belief that

Business, Politics and Pageants Have a Lot in Common!

For many years, I was a rock star pageant interview coach…I know, I know, you’re probably surprised to know that at one time, I was one of the Southeast’s top pageant interview coaches for Miss America, Miss USA, Little Miss, the Rodeo Queens, the Cow Queens, and Watermelon Queens and the list goes on… at one time I had more winners on the stage than any coach in the Carolina’s and probably the Southeast. But what’s interesting – as I learned early on… it’s not me, but by coaching my clients to dig deep within themselves and learn to speak

Turn Yourself Around

I just finished reading a great book called “The Map Thief,” the story of Forbes Smiley, III, an esteemed rare maps dealer, who, as the book jacket says, “…spent years doubling as a map thief—until he was finally arrested slipping maps out of books in the Yale University library.” It was a great book, and I learned a lot about maps: how they were created and how, by simply changing a border, you could change a nation, but, beyond my own education about maps and their value, was the story of the failings of a guy who committed crimes against

When your past calls, don’t answer

When your past calls, don’t answer; it has nothing new to say. How many times have you fallen back into an old habit or pattern because you answered the call of your past? You know you should not have picked up the proverbial phone, but you did, and you said hello, and now you’re dealing with the aftermath. I’m encouraging you today to say goodbye and leave your past behind you as you move forward. I think it is interesting that so many people I talk with have this same pull–it’s like a spider web that seems to draw many

Act As If

Recently, a friend who was on my show used a phrase that has really stuck with me… in the course of our conversation talking about how to keep your spirits up even when it seems like life has thrown you a curve ball, she said – that every time her spirits started to wane (in her job search) she would – as she said, Act As If… act as if it was going to be okay, act as if you had the courage to do the job, act as if you were in the job of your dreams. Just that

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

I always liked the Beatles song I Get by With a Little Help From My Friends. Most of their songs, I’m ambivalent about, but something about the tune and truth of having strength in numbers makes me feel safe in the world today. Like many of you, I have groups of friends for different aspects of my life. I have church friends, work friends, former work friends, political friends (former political friends), my mom’s friends, my brother’s friends, and my sweet neighbors. I even have a small group of more mature friends whose company I love. In the midst of

It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine

“It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine.”—Eeyore. It has been a week. I can’t remember when, in the course of a holiday weekend, I have seen so much sadness and pain and frustration and disappointment. I’m not sure if it’s the moon in its phases or if life is just hard with all that is expected of us. Kids back in school, football teams winning and losing or, financial issues that seem to plague even the most stable of families, or kids gone bad and parents are at their wit’s end. Life is hard—I know you know that—and, although

Keep Going

Last week, I spoke about the idea of Swinging for the Fences—stepping up to the plate and taking a powerful swing with all your might and watching that ball sail over the fence so you can round the bases and be proud that you really gave something your all and were successful. I want to add to that thought this week with this directive. Friend, in this life, you need to keep going because there is a great chance that everything you need will come to you at the perfect time…if you continue on. And that is the key: continue

Author: Deb Sofield