Deb Sofield


Never look down on someone unless you’re helping them up

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I know that most of us don’t “think” we look down on others but in our own way many times we compare and contrast and then make a judgment – whether right or wrong.

For many it is not a matter of arrogance but of what I call Not Thinking – or being so consumed that we don’t stop to realize that as a member of the human race we have a responsibility to help others…now where does that come from – hopefully from your core – your good will – your fundamental life beliefs – and the basic concept of kindness no matter what your situation.

I’m speaking to myself today… I sit planes, trains and automobiles and usually due to my being tired I rarely engage in conversation with my seat mates – primarily because I have been talking for the last few hours and my voice is tired…but as life would have it – 9 out of 10 times my seatmates tend to want to talk and talk and talk… no harm done and I usually enjoyed the conversation. In my case it’s not about looking down but what I have come to learn is I have a responsibility to help others up… allowing them to be seen and heard as they brag about grandkids, jobs and vacations – giving them space to help them up.

I’m sad to tell you that wasted a lot of years before I learned the secret to success and in my opinion the real secret is to help others up allow them to shine and not block, re-direct or step into their light.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be seen and recognized… and when you’re young or if you’re on the mature side you strive to set yourself apart to be recognized for your accomplishments or if you’ve done all the work on the project you need to be seen but over time I realized that I’d shine just as bright or brighter when I reflect the light of others… if I’ll just hold back and let them have their day in the sun.

Now don’t get me wrong I still have to work at it … but as I watch and learn from others who are wiser than I – I am amazed how this simple concept still needs to reinforced or be taught or we simply need to be reminded of it for our success.

I was speaking at a conference recently and after a wonderful time with the audience many were coming forward to shake my hand after my presentation and I noticed an odd thing happened as a fellow speaker decided to stand next to me so they could interject themselves to be a part of the conversation… mind you – their presentation had not gone so well and since no one had sought them out they decided to stand in my light to be seen. Although it was odd – I realized what was happening and decided it was okay… I really didn’t mind but it did make me stop and think about how I show respect to others

Its been said that even the most introverted person will influence 10,000 people in his or her lifetime. Some will be a good influence and others will send the wrong message, and have a negative impact. So the question is not whether you will influence but how you will influence…Our acts of kindness can inspire a chain reaction of others doing the same

I looked up Wikipedia for the phrase random act of kindness it says – it’s a selfless act performed by a person or people wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual person or people. The phrase may have been coined by Anne Herbert, who says that she wrote, “Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty” on a place mat at a Sausalito restaurant in 1982 or 1983

We all know that either spontaneous or planned, various communities from the schools, to the church to your neighborhood, encourage random acts of kindness…and when that happens it is a reminder to Never look down on someone unless you’re helping them up

Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield is a Keynote Speaker, Author of the book, Speak without Fear – Rock Star Presentation Skills to get People to Hear What You Say and Encouragement For Your Life ~ Tough Love Memos to Help You Fight Your Battles and Change the World, Radio Talk Show Host in the Salem Network, Podcaster and President of her own Executive Speech Coaching Co., which trains women and men for success in speaking, crisis communications, presentation skills, media and message development in the U.S. and abroad.

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