Deb Sofield


You were born with the ability to change someone’s life

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You were born with the ability to change someone’s life, don’t ever waste it.

As I prepare for my weekly radio show many times I speak with the larger listening audience in mind. I fully understand it is Saturday and you’re busy with chores or errands or house cleaning or finishing up lunch with the family, but today I want to talk about you and speak to you directly.

As I work with presidents of corporations, sales team leaders, author who are out selling their books or wise folks who are working to better their speaking ability, I have been reminded once again that everyone I work with (and those whose lives they touch) all have a similar calling. I believe that calling is this: You were born with the ability to change someone’s life, don’t ever waste it.

Let’s think about that for a minute, You were born with the ability to change someone’s life, don’t ever waste it.

My guest last week shared with me the 7 rules his mother gave him for success in life. In reviewing those rules this weekend I was reminded of the great responsibility that is placed on all of us who, by virtue of our life or job or vocation, touch the lives of others.

So to start we have to get a few things squared away: #1 you must understand the simply fact that you are important. It does not matter whether you think you are or not. The fact stands that you are so own up to it.

Not only is it noteworthy to remember that you are important, it is also imperative that you understand (#2) that others watch you. They watch your actions and reactions. They judge your inside life and outside life. They may do it quietly but be aware that you (and I) are always being watched. The #3rd thing it is important to remember is how you feel about yourself is a reflection of how you treat others.

So let’s take these in order and have a quick discussion so we understand the magnitude of the thought for today – You were born with the ability to change someone’s life, don’t ever waste it.

Imagine that someone is watching you. For the sake of discussion, let’s assume that someone is watching you because I believe they are (go with me here). If you don’t show that you value yourself (through the way you treat yourself or take care of yourself and love yourself) then what are they to think about your self worth?

Someone who believes that they were put on this earth for a reason but never stops to think about why, is missing out. Missing out on opportunities to offer help, support or advice to change someone else’s life.

It is stunning to me that people I meet daily do not realize that they have a higher purpose. A purpose higher than just watching out for themselves. They don’t understand that they have a responsibility to watch out for their fellow man. I can only assume this breakdown is what has led us to such disrespect for each other in the world today—but I won’t go there today.

I’m always surprised when someone tells me they don’t know why they were put on earth -or- why life has handed them their sorry lot -or- why they have the family, spouse or job they have as if it was just a coincidence. Friend, you made choices in your life that have landed you where you are with the exception of your birth. Your lot in life is ever-changing if you choose for it to be. My favorite speaker Jim Rohn is famous for saying – you can change anytime you want – you’re not a tree.

When you understand that you have value, real value, it changes the chemistry in your brain. It should open a space in your heart to do that which you are called, born, directed to do because any reasonable person would know with that the opportunity comes responsibility. And I say with your gifts, your purpose, your being you have the chance and joy and duty to change someone else’s life, if you will step up to the challenge.

Once you realize the simple fact that you are important and you have a purpose, it will change the way you view your opportunities, responsibilities and your accountability to yourself and others. Friends, today believe that you are important and have been put on this earth for a reason—now go figure out why.

Now that we have your self-worth squared away, let me remind you that others are constantly watching you. Why, you might ask. Because a person of value is a magnet to those who need to see the truth, for those who need to believe in their self-worth and for those who have no guiding light to follow. They look to you in hopes of learning the way to self-esteem and value.

I heard someone once say, “Well they shouldn’t watch me.” To which I thought, “Unfortunately you’re right.” Since you are such a shallow, self-serving, selfish person no one should waste a minute watching your self-absorbed actions. But unfortunately they are. So now what are you going to do about it? It goes back to that thought of selfishness that you can do what you want, when you want, how you want with no thought about others. That’s a great way to live your self-centered life. And what is sad is when the kids or neighbors or co-workers see you act that way, you’re teaching them the wrong way to be a person of value. Our world has changed. If you’ve been around for more than 20 years, you’ve seen the rise of this egocentric generation that cares nothing about others. This generation is always looking out for #1 to the detriment of our society. People are watching you. Please be aware that your actions, attitudes and opinions are being watched, judges and copied and will be reflected by the mirror of your life.

The point is simply. Since you are important, and since others are watching your every move, be aware that how you feel about yourself is a reflection of how you treat others.

Someone who values their reputation, their character and their life is not a person who will tear others down. Someone who understands that for every action there is a reaction, will not intentionally cause harm to advance a self-serving agenda. And this is not for fear of retribution, but for fear of causing damage when it need not be so. Someone who can look in the mirror and see the wonder of life and happiness is someone who will by their actions give hope to those who are struggling. Since you were born with the ability to change someone’s life, it is imperative that you be award and don’t ever waste that opportunity.

Since you were born with the ability to change someone’s life, you have to step up to the task. Did you know starting today you can be that person. If life has made you hard, mean and angry, today you can begin to let down your guard and be more reasonable, calm and caring. If in your opinion life has been unfair, starting today you can be fair to others. If your direction in life is causing you pain and heartache, today can be the day you turn your life around and ease the pain and walk away from your distress. There is no need to live a miserable existence. Why? Because how you feel about yourself is a reflection of how you treat others. And for some listening today, your treatment of yourself is so mean and hard and angry that you’ve lost the person you once were. The person you’ve become is not you at all, but a shell to cover your insecurity and fear. And since you are so unhappy, you are treating everyone around you the same way – with the same anger, frustration and harshness that you hold for yourself. What is fascinating to those of us who watch you is that you think your putting on a good show, but the anger that seethes underneath bubbles out for all the see. We’re surprised because we thought you had it all together, we were hoping you had it all together and now we’re begging you to get it together before it all falls apart.

Why? Because you are to important to be so unhappy and not live in the light of your potential. Your success is essential because others are watching you to learn how to live their life. But most significant is you owe it to yourself to be who you were born to be, your best self for you, your loved ones and others. You were born with the ability to change your life. Now Go Do It!

Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield is a Keynote Speaker, Author of the book, Speak without Fear – Rock Star Presentation Skills to get People to Hear What You Say and Encouragement For Your Life ~ Tough Love Memos to Help You Fight Your Battles and Change the World, Radio Talk Show Host in the Salem Network, Podcaster and President of her own Executive Speech Coaching Co., which trains women and men for success in speaking, crisis communications, presentation skills, media and message development in the U.S. and abroad.

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