Deb Sofield


You are what you settle for…

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I hate it when I come across a quote that hits me full on…really? I am what I settle for?

My mind immediately goes to a thousand other excuses – like – what about my circumstances, what about my age, what about my job, what about my family – really there’s got to be a reason…and it’s not ME… it can’t be me… okay fine it’s me.

How about you?

Have you settled for a small network of friends because you’re too lazy to reach out and meet new people – it’s hard to know who to trust nowadays? Are these people who seem nice really who they say they are? Do they really care about your success or do they want to hang on? Instead of taking people at face value have you set up roadblocks?

Have you settled for being a few pounds overweight because you love to eat and try new things…(so there’s a picture at my gym of the cookie monster surrounded by cookies sitting on the couch watching TV and as he is scarfing down cookies he says – I don’t know why I can’t lose weight must be my personal trainers fault…sorry that’s a gym joke… Have you let yourself go just a bit?

Have you settled for a mediocre income because you won’t push yourself – because you’re tired, and you feel like you work all the time… have you settled.

And that dear listener is the question for the day.

I know that life takes twists and turns but friend you can’t allow those twists to become your excuse for not trying, not working, not planning, not doing…. have you settled because it is comfortable, because it’s easy, because you’re tired, because you don’t think anyone cares or will notice?

Probably so – so what can I say to get you off the coach and onto the tasks you have been putting aside until another day… you know another day…when you have more time, when the kids are gone, when your spouse is out of the house, when you pay off the credit cards, when you…  fill in the blank.

Recently, I was speaking in GA and in the presentation,  I was giving I encourage my audience to take small steps like clean out the garage and attic to give your mind a place to begin and rebuild what you want – and a lady in my audience hollered out and asked Why? So, I answered her from the stage – I’ll tell you why – because when your life is so full of stuff you cannot make room for anything new. When you can’t walk through your garage or park your car in your garage or are embarrassed to open the garage door – or the attic or any other place you have filled to the top with stuff you will probably never use again – you’ve blocked out opportunity – you’ve shut the door to newness, you’ve closed off an opening all because you couldn’t find the time, make the time, take the time to clean out so you can clean up.

I see people in my coaching business that have settled for where they are because they have thrown up all these self-made road blocks…Why? Because working through it is hard work. And, isn’t it supposed to be easy. We all say do what you love, and the money won’t matter – until it does because you have to pay the bills.

Unfortunately friend for many it is hard work but let me tell you a secret once you begin and get into the project it becomes easier – why – because in short order you can see progress and in an odd way that is exciting enough to move you forward and then you can see a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel to finish. And then you’re done…and even if it was hard – you finished – you succeeded – you won, and you didn’t settle.

What I find is many people think they can get by with being good enough… not great… just good enough because it’s well good enough. They have a major presentation for their company and their attitude is – we’ll if I can just get by, I’ll be okay… funny thought… okay doesn’t move you up the ladder – you stay where you are… and then you wonder why you don’t get ahead. I know it takes time to research and plan and study but to be good you have no other choice.

It’s the weekend and it’s probably football season where you are…do you think the coach told the team – hey guys we’re good enough no need to study the plays, no need to stretch and work out, no need to watch what you eat before the game… Come on – you know no coach in America says that to their team…why because to be a well-oiled machine you have to work at it…and settling is not good enough ever.

As a speaker my friends, in the speaking business, and I are always amazed when a group calls and asks about availability and then speaking fees and once they hear the fee sometimes, they say… well we can get XYZ for this amount and he is good enough…. And I say – wow good enough – well then you better call him because your audience is waiting for good enough… that will move them from where they are to where they want to go…. Good enough…

Sometimes they laugh – sometimes they don’t – but you know from where I sit if all you want is good enough – don’t call me. My job it is move you from where you are to where you want to go…and I take my job seriously.

Why because for some unknown reason it’s been laid on my heart to care about your success. As I’ve gotten older I look around and think – I don’t want to live in a community of average, I don’t want my elected officials to be average, I don’t want my neighbors to be average – No, I want to live, work and play with people who are doing good work, being a part of the community, helping others achieve their potential.

Good enough in the speaking business – makes you feel good for that one hour but then by lunch when you ask the group – hey what did you learn – the answer is … well nothing really but I feel good – to which I ask – well how long will that last – hmmm not long I’m afraid.

How is it you think it’s okay to settle? What goes on in the mind of smart, well-reasoned, intelligent person that it’s okay to be mediocre – to be average – to be – well, just okay.

It’s not and you know it!

Stop being lazy. Argue all you want BUT you know I’m right (and for the record I don’t want to be right – I want you to be rock star amazing).

Weekly I tell you stories of those who fought through and succeeded on the other side… last week I told you about Stephen King – thank goodness his wife never gave up on his dream, or remember the story about Scott Hamilton – really no one ever considered the little guy to achieve greatness until he did… against all odds.

History is full of those who didn’t settle, who got up every day and went forth and prospered, people that instinctively knew that they fearfully and wonderfully made and understood that it was time to step up and own it.

I have a quote that I write on my desk calendar every month – not sure who said it…but it goes like this…

Our father does not inspire us to do that which cannot be done… my belief is that my heavenly Father does not inspire ME to do that which cannot be done. Whatever you believe understand that I do not think you’ve been inspired to do that which cannot be done – No, if it’s been given to you – you can do it.

So, friend, don’t settle for less than what you’ve been given – today is the day to get up – get going – and make progress…because if you are what you settle for – I hope you are rock star amazing.

Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield is a Keynote Speaker, Author of the book, Speak without Fear – Rock Star Presentation Skills to get People to Hear What You Say and Encouragement For Your Life ~ Tough Love Memos to Help You Fight Your Battles and Change the World, Radio Talk Show Host in the Salem Network, Podcaster and President of her own Executive Speech Coaching Co., which trains women and men for success in speaking, crisis communications, presentation skills, media and message development in the U.S. and abroad.

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