Deb Sofield


Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

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“Get your big fat a__ in here” those are the words a client of mine recently heard from her grandmother. I can only assume the grandmother didn’t measure the damage of her words. I’m sure grandma thought she was being funny. She wasn’t.

Weeks later my client can repeat that stinging phrase that hurt to the bone and the worst part is now every time she looks in the mirror, she will hear those words from the person who is supposed to show unconditional love – the grandparent. We all know that people says things to hurt – on purpose, to prove their myopic point or to put one ‘in their place’ and claim it is for fun and they really didn’t mean it… but they do and what I have found is that they do it because deep inside they are mean, angry and frustrated that life didn’t give them what they thought they deserved or they feel a need to lash out over some past hurt – hidden by a false smile.

Pathetic as that sounds it’s the truth. I see it every day. Hurting people hurt people and they use the one thing that shows no outward scars Words. Ah, but friend your words do scar inside and out and for some those scars last a lifetime.

I spend hours begging people to turn off the voices in their head. Those voices are skewed and mean and are not reality. Hear me friends YOUR WORDS MATTER – they matter today, tomorrow and the rest of your life.

Daily, I see the power or destruction of words that weigh on the soul, the heart and the mind. Let me remind you that once your words are spoken the record cannot be erased. Good hearted, healthily, good willed people don’t say hurtful things to prove their point. People who love you will build you tall from where you stand. Friend, if your life is not what you had hoped for stop taking it out on others – you’re better than that.

I leave you with my favorite video by Taylor Swift…Please click the link to see video via CMT mean.jhtml

Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield is a Keynote Speaker, Author of the book, Speak without Fear – Rock Star Presentation Skills to get People to Hear What You Say and Encouragement For Your Life ~ Tough Love Memos to Help You Fight Your Battles and Change the World, Radio Talk Show Host in the Salem Network, Podcaster and President of her own Executive Speech Coaching Co., which trains women and men for success in speaking, crisis communications, presentation skills, media and message development in the U.S. and abroad.

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