Many years ago, I had the opportunity to travel to the American-Mexican border. I was with a young elected political group whose purpose was to teach and educate young politicians about the world and our place in it, what we could do, and how we could help others.
I remember it was a beautiful sunny day with a cerulean, blue sky and light ivory-colored sand on the beach and the waves were gently rolling in and there I stood I don’t think I’ll ever forget the view as beautiful as it was and as I walked along the fence, I came upon a marker that said, Boundary of the United States. It’s an imposing marker set into the fence line between America and Mexico. The truth is one can easily scale the fence or swim around the jetty in the ocean but even if you cross over willingly or not you’ve now crossed a border, a boundary line that either keeps you in or keeps you out. It is the law of the land.
It made me wonder, “Who set the boundary? I mean who decided so many years ago that this was the boundary line? Why not go another 100 yards down the beach or a mile down the beach? I just had to wonder who made that decision, a lifelong choice that no doubt has affected many people.
And as you can imagine my mind started questioning the idea of boundaries. One thought I couldn’t shake was who puts boundary lines on paper and calls it a day, and have you or I limited ourselves by the penciled-in boundary lines written by someone else? Are we on the wrong side of the fence?
I fully admit the concept of boundaries frustrates me, who gets to set them, and who ensures they are abided by? Is it first come-first serve, is it by purchase, or by war, or as the age-old line says, “to the victor go the spoils” and the boundary line?
Boundaries in business are many times bumped up against until someone calls their lawyer. Boundaries in relationships can cause great angst, boundaries to one’s abilities are hard to acknowledge until the obvious is apparent.
Boundaries are such an interesting concept.
What I find so often with my clients is that they have adhered to boundary lines that were set for them by someone else and it is closing them in and shutting them out and limiting their hopes, their dreams, and in an odd way their future.
It’s the voices in their head that say things that are simply not true and yet they have heard those words for so long they are now engrained in their soul and the perception of their truth.
Boundaries for safety and security make sense, boundaries for limiting your abilities and dreams because of the dysfunction of others do not and must be erased so you find your place to grow and thrive and be your best.
Some reading today might want to consider climbing over the fence or swimming around the jetty to freedom of body, mind, and soul.
I think it is important that we revisit our boundaries, especially those that were set by others – some well-meaning and some just mean and then consider if they are still valuable to us today.
This week take the time to stop and think about who sets your boundaries.
