Deb Sofield

Leaders

Start Wading

When I was a child, there was nothing I liked more than to wade into the cold creek and look for crawdads and frogs and other creek life. Then we started taking our summer vacation to Isle of Palms on the coast of South Carolina, and my creek became an ocean. Back then the island was row upon row of summer beach homes (not the spectacular ones you see nowadays). Our beach bungalow was easily recognizable since we were very close to the “famous” island house called Tickled Pink, and yes, it was bright Pepto-Bismol pink. (My brothers would have […]

The Kindness of Strangers

I am sure at some time or another when you least expected it, a “stranger” helped you. The kindness of strangers–completely unexpected, gratefully accepted and long remembered. It sometimes happens when a thought flashes in your mind, I could use some help here. And suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, someone comes to your aid answering your silent prayer or your out-loud-request to any and all visiting angels to hurry and help. I can remember many times when I uttered a prayer or word or even a thought that flickered through my mind requesting help when, lo and behold, someone in […]

Curiosity

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu, Yes, that is my headline for today, but stay with me and learn why. I don’t know about you, but when I see something new, I file it away for a rainy day to pull out and review when I have some free time. I’ve been on the road for a few weeks now speaking at conferences, and when I was unpacking this week, I pulled out a crumpled piece of paper that was stuffed in my suitcase and it had this word (above) written at the top with the notation that it has 85 letters in the name. […]

The Emotion of Worry

I am continuing with my series on emotions. I started with anger because anger really hurts you and those around you. Remember, anger is a cancer to your soul. So, to have a happy life you have to let it go. Then I talked about the pain of shame. Shame is a Failure to Meet Your Own Standard of Behavior, and this emotion will play havoc in your life if you’re not careful. And I added in the thought that you that you should stop thinking that others have to accept your forgiveness for you to be forgiven. They don’t. […]

Sometimes Holding On Does More Damage Than Letting Go

As much as we like to hang on because we all like to feel like it is the right thing to do in our personal lives or at the office or with a friend, sometimes it might be best to just let go, because sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. Now, to be fair, that is hard to do. I don’t think most of us are wired to let go; I believe we’re wired to try, try, try and try again to make relationships work, office politics work out to some manageable agreement or to stay connected […]

The Emotion of Jealousy

I am going to continue with my theme of emotions, which are causing you harm… because I want you to understand that you are more than how you feel, and you can (with help) heal the damaged places in your heart and mind. My first lesson was about anger, last week I talked about shame and this week I want to talk about jealousy. Oh, jealousy, the green-eyed monster that will wreck your perfectly happy home and make you (a normal person) become insane with rage and keep you at night fretting over things you can’t control. Other words for […]

The Emotion of Shame

I am continuing with my theme of emotions, which are causing you harm, because I want you to understand that you are more than how you feel, and that you can (with help) heal the damaged places in your heart and mind. So let’s continue… Today I want to talk with you about shame, which is closely related to but different from guilt. Probably the best definition I have heard of shame is that it’s a failure to meet your own standard of behavior, whereas guilt is a failure to meet others’ standards of behavior. This is the difference we’re […]

Your Two Most Valuable Assets

In a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, hotelier Ben Weprin said, “The best business advice I’ve ever received came from Sam Zell, who told me the most important thing is Shem Tov, which means your name and your integrity. Make all your decisions upon protecting those. I am an avid reader, and I love the WSJ for the front page, the personal and the weekend edition listings of all the amazing homes for sale. In the Life section, they feature celebrities and a listing of about twenty questions. In one of the questions, the idea of business advice […]

What’s in The Well, Comes Up in The Bucket

Recently, I was listening to the commencement address by Tyler Perry at Tuskegee University and, in his remarks, he made this statement: “What’s in the well, comes up in the bucket.” (http://buzz.blog.ajc.com/2016/05/09/tyler-perrys-moving-tuskegee-university-commencement-speech/) It is the first time I had heard this phrase and it just stuck with me, because it seems to be the perfect southern phrase of how life really is no matter what it seems like on the outside. I get that everyone wants to appear successful to friends and family (and enemies), and good for those who have made it because, no doubt, it took work to […]