Deb Sofield


The most ridiculously limiting, prehistoric assumption

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The most ridiculously limiting, prehistoric assumption that many of you have is that what you’ve always dreamed of doing will not make you enough money, so you settle for something less than your heart desires and less than you deserve, all because you assumed or were told that (fill in the blank) won’t make you any money.

What sparked this idea was that in one of my stories I came across a great quote by Tama Kieves who said, “I don’t know what your block is, but I changed my entire life (and the lives of thousands of others) by questioning one ridiculously limiting, prehistoric assumption I had. I longed to be a writer, but I assumed/knew “writers don’t make money.””

I love and believe this thought by Alyse Kalish when she says,We live in a truly extraordinary time. We all have the ability to find meaning in our work. You know, do something we love, not just something that pays the bills. Or in other words, go to a job that doesn’t exactly feel like “work”. But finding your calling isn’t exactly an easy thing. After all, it’s not like you wake up one day and say, “Ah yes, I was meant to be in accounts receivable.” So how do you find that career that really satisfies you?”

Well, I believe that the first thing you do is to stop the negative life-limiting quote that we’ve heard a thousand times, and that is my focus today, not about being a writer (unless that is what you want to do), but more about what ridiculously limiting, prehistoric assumption do you have about your life that is stopping your greatest joy–your hopes and dreams.

I think many of us have been conditioned to believe that for us to be successful, especially in the eyes of those we love and admire, we many times have to set aside our joy, our calling, our life’s work to fit into someone’s else’s plan and, while that is good for them, it’s probably not going to be good for you in the long run.

I work with people every day who can give me a well thought out list of all the things they want to do…and, while I think that is great that they desire to see the world, be a chef, actor or a ballplayer, in the end they will do none of it because someone, somewhere, somehow has tied them down to a life they are expected to follow whether it suites them or not…all because of the ridiculously limiting, prehistoric assumption that they can’t make enough money doing what they want… to live the good life.

Now I’ve got to level with you – it’s not easy to go against the advice of parents and advisors; that is a hard call to make. Some of you just need to do what’s best for where you are in your life. When we’re young, we have options usually–if we don’t like one job, we can find another, but at some point we’re encouraged or demanded to settle down and do something–anything–to make a living and our family proud.

And while I’ll never tell you to go against your elders, I will remind you that there are 24 hours in a day, and some of you will need to use those other hours between 7:00 p.m. – 2:00 a.m. to do what you feel called to do, until you can prove (for whoever is watching) that your heart’s direction is a viable option for your financial well being. And once you prove that fact many times, others will see that you’re going to be okay. I can tell you that is what is most likely the driving factor of those who love you–the fact that they want you to succeed and have a successful life and not live at home with them for the rest of your life.

I want to go through a list of ridiculously limiting, prehistoric assumptions that I have heard more times than any person should have to listen to, and the silly thing is most people think these are all true.

I’ll start with you won’t make money as a speaker, author, teacher, coach, preacher, radio D.J., secretary, nurse, pet groomer, social media guru, artist, musician, police officer or fireman, garbage collector or postman…and now you can add your list to this one, because the list goes on and on.

That list is made up by people, some well meaning and some just mean, but I can tell you that some of the happiest people I know are teachers, musicians, actors, nurses and preachers and coaches, speakers and radio DJ’s. So now what is your excuse for not doing what you want to do or are called to do? Money? Really? You’re going to set aside your happiness for money?

I realized many years ago that people only know what they know. And, frankly, I doubt that your friends and family have any idea of the kind of money you can make online or by spinning records or doing whatever it is that your heart desires, because when they were growing up, they didn’t know anyone who could make a living doing what you’re hoping to do. But times have changed. You can type in any online search for the title Internet millionaires and page after page will load of people just like you–well, sort of like you. The people I am talking about have guts and chutzpah–something many are lacking–to go into the world and make their mark doing what they love.

You see, for many of these young people, they never bought into the ridiculously limiting, prehistoric assumptions…that what you’ve always dreamed of doing will not make you enough money to enjoy life. They didn’t let their fears run their life, they took action, and today they are doing their dream jobs and having fun.

So I have to ask, what ridiculously limiting, prehistoric assumption… has convinced you that will not make you enough money do you have in your head? And how can I help you pull down the cobwebs and sweep out the trash to help you see clearly a path forward for your amazing life?

And I’ll add here, please don’t tell me you’re too old. You know why? Because for many reading this now, you have depth and with age comes understanding. If you have it in you, if you have the fire, the drive, the want…it’s not over. Stop making excuses. Nobody cares how old you are if you dominate, if you show that you have what it takes.

I’ll tell you what success doesn’t allow–a ridiculously limiting, prehistoric assumption that you can’t do what you want to do as long as it is an honest days, nights, and weekend’s work.

It is all up to you. Excuses–I know, you’ve all got them, but they are not getting you very far. How long are you going to allow the excuses that you have hold you back from doing your life’s work?

One of the reasons I am questioning you today is because I don’t want you to believe a lie and that is what this idea of not being able to make enough money is–a lie. And a friend would not let you go down a path that is not doable.

I also believe that a true friend would question your limiting beliefs and encourage you to give your idea a try–perhaps on a limited scale at first to test the waters, and then a good friend would push you into the water to force you to immerse yourself in the option or idea that what you have… just…might…work.

I know money is important, and I am not going to ignore that important fact of life, but, friend, believe it or not money really isn’t everything. Yes, it helps, and, yes, you need to make a living, and, yes, it is not easy to step out on faith without some idea of finances, but don’t let a little thing like money stop you, your ideas and your hopes and dreams.

That is why I am going to push to consider doubling up on your work and time to see which option will win out–your day-to-day job or your hobby that can provide nearly the same revenue on your terms?

The truth is, “if you really want it bad enough you will make the time; it might be from 7:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m., but the hours are there–it’s just a matter of you taking, making, putting in the hours to accomplish your dreams.”

I’ve focused my today on the ridiculously limiting, prehistoric assumptions that so many people have and that so many people fear–the idea that they won’t make money doing what they’d like to do…in their lifetime.

And, please hear me, I am not saying that you should rush out and make big life changes without doing your due diligence. Remember, wisdom is a part of this life-changing equation, but adding to wisdom is opportunity, and opportunity only happens when you try something new or different with a belief that…it just…might…work.

Ah, friends, do not let a ridiculously limiting, prehistoric assumption stop your dreams any longer. You’ve waited long enough. Maybe today is the day to step up and crack open the locked box that holds your dreams; bring your ideas into the sunlight and let’s see if your hopes and dreams can stand under the heat of the sun to create a lasting opportunity for you.

Remember, “The difference between success and failure is the courage to actually give it a go.”


Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield is a Keynote Speaker, Author of the book, Speak without Fear – Rock Star Presentation Skills to get People to Hear What You Say and Encouragement For Your Life ~ Tough Love Memos to Help You Fight Your Battles and Change the World, Radio Talk Show Host in the Salem Network, Podcaster and President of her own Executive Speech Coaching Co., which trains women and men for success in speaking, crisis communications, presentation skills, media and message development in the U.S. and abroad.

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