Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
Did you know that most people don’t learn many new words, read many books, or stop and think about why their Public Speaking Skills are important? This is interesting to me since those are the three things I think about all the time.
As a speaker, I am always interested in words, not only for the meaning but also for the interpretation. How do others hear certain words, and how do they react to the word? And What about those words that have no meaning to them? I had to sit next to someone who was book-smart for many months. They would use words I had never heard, so I’d secretly write down the word (as I thought it might be spelled) and then go home and look it up. Then, I added it to my list of words for the week.
One of the reasons I did this is because I know the value of words. I know how we say things, and the tone we use conveys a multitude of messages. I saw the chance to learn and grow as an education for which I didn’t have to pay. Especially in my line of work, it would pay dividends for a lifetime if I would pay attention and, listen, and learn.
I came across a quote by the poet Rumi, and he says this: “Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder…”
What a nice way to think about our words and tone and tenor of our speaking voice.
In my work as an interview and presentation coach, I come across all sorts of dialects, drawls, and diction.
When you think about your voice and the words you use, how do others hear you (and please tell me you have thought about this), you need to also consider raising your words or growing your vocabulary to increase your value.
And not only increasing your vocabulary for business’ sake but also for your life and those you love and care for.
The Bible says a soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger. That is perfect with our thought for today – it’s the rain, not the thunder, that makes the flower grow.
This was a hard lesson for me to learn when I was younger, as I was all about the thunder. As the youngest of 5 and the only girl, I worked hard to be heard. Although I am all about thunder, the reality is that it is not professional, and rarely does it accomplish what you think it will. In many cases, it is just the opposite because thunder usually falls on deaf ears-it becomes only noise and not words we hear or value.
A friend and I owned an advertising agency many years ago when I was starting out in business I remember my dad had to drop something by my office, and as he was waiting for me to get off the phone to speak to me – he overheard me raise my voice and yell at a supplier because something had gone wrong… he didn’t say anything, but later that night when I got home, my mom called me and asked about my day. I didn’t think much of it until she got around to asking about my yelling – to which I told her I probably yell 10x a day at supplies and printers and the mating squirrels that made so much noise outside. I explained that no one listens or hears, and then we’re held accountable to the client for missed deadlines – business was stressful, I told her. Well, it seems my yelling upset my dad (who, by the way, is very quiet) because he had never heard me raise my voice, so he was quite surprised at my volume and upset at my audacity and that I would speak that way in a business setting to which I was reminded that “We don’t do that in our family – that is not how I was brought up, and nothing is so stressful that I cannot maintain my calm and demeanor as a lady and a professional – and never let my father hear me do that again.”
What a great reminder that I needed to raise my words, not my voice…because it is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
The WSJ used to run a weekly column by Erin McKean called Week in Words – a field guide to unusual words in this week’s WSJ…. I loved the column and would clip it every week. Ms. McKean is a lexicographer, and that is my new word for the week. Which I learned is primarily the art or craft of compiling, writing, and editing dictionaries. Who knew people did this for a living… and I, for one, am glad they do.
Why? Because words matter – meanings of words matter, and how you use your words matters… whether you think so or not.
I mention this because as you and I grow in knowledge, it’s a great practice to build on the blocks of what we already know.
There is no doubt that thunder is more my nature, and I tend to use my outside voice inside most of the time…partly because many of my friends don’t hear so well and partly because I don’t think people listen, so I’ll have the loudest voice in the room.
In keeping with my theme for today – how can I help you raise your words? For years on my radio show, at the end of our time, when I had guests on the show – I would ask them to give me their word for the week. I learned quickly that I had to put limits on their words when… 1. They couldn’t pronounce it, 2. They looked it up in a dictionary and had never used the word in a sentence because it was not a word in their working vocabulary, and 3. They mistakenly thought a hard word was a better choice vs. a word that might have fallen out of favor or not one you hear very often.
I try not to be the word police, but sometimes, as you well know, I like to harass them when it’s a word that is not well known, and they can’t use it in a sentence.
Ok, so back to how can we raise our words? Reading books, magazines, newspapers, and online blogs is the best way… I can remember when I learned the word flummoxed – meaning to bewilder, confound, or confuse…. I had never heard that word before and had to look it up, and believe it or not, within a week, I saw that word flummoxed in a newspaper article – now, maybe since it was a new word, it popped out at me, or maybe my new word stuck. Now, when I am out speaking, I always ask my audience to give me a new word that they have learned this week, month, or year – come on people, really you haven’t learned a new word… and then I give my favorite word – flummoxed – and inevitably someone will email me later and say they just saw the word in a magazine…how exciting.
Let me remind you most famous sayings are not made up of words you don’t know or understand, and they have withstood the test of time.
Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
And let us resolve what they will say of our day and our generation that we did keep faith with our God, that we did act worthy of ourselves, that we did protect and pass on lovingly that shining city on a hill.
I could go on and on about words – simple words put together that moved a nation to freedom, to safety to life…now think what it could do for you – your family and your job.
Remember – Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
