People aren’t always going to be there for you. That’s why you learn to handle things on your own.
You know what I think one of the hardest things in life is? It’s when you have to do things on your own.
I tend to work alone—it’s just the nature of my business—but sometimes I enjoy collaborating with others; I just want to hear their thoughts, or I like to see the process of working together to accomplish a goal come to fruition. I also like the camaraderie that happens when you put good people together to create something.
If you can find your tribe and make good things happen for yourself or others, more power to you. You are blessed, but for most of us, unfortunately, people aren’t always going to be there for us. That’s why you need to learn to handle things on your own. I saw that phrase a while back, and it was a good reminder that, sometimes, instead of waiting for someone to help me, I just need to pick up the tools and get to work. And, friend, you do too.
Some of you are waiting for others to help you get going on projects, dreams, and memories, but they haven’t come through, so you’re still waiting. And my question is, how long will you wait, and why are you giving your power to someone else when you could go ahead and get the job, project, or dream fulfilled with your own effort?
Some of you reading this today may need to reevaluate your relationship with a friend who is not doing their part. If it’s something you really want to pursue, go ahead and get started. Hopefully, you’ll meet some new friends on that new road to give you the encouragement you need to do what you wanted to do, see what you wanted to see, or at least make your plans to accomplish your dreams. And the good news is, sometimes, when you start, your tribe will follow.
One of my pet peeves in life is when someone says they’re going to do something…and they don’t. It’s really hard for me to give them a second chance. I move at a fast pace, and if someone can’t or won’t come through as promised, I’ll find someone who will, or I’ll do it myself. And I won’t put myself in a position a second time to have to lean on them since they didn’t come through when they promised. Maybe that sounds harsh, but for me, it’s better than me becoming angry, hurt, or frustrated because others didn’t come through.
I can still love those people, but I won’t put myself in a position to cause further harm to the already fractured relationship.
The fact is, “People aren’t always going to be there for you. That’s why you learn to handle things on your own.”
So today, I want to encourage you to find the strength to do the things that need to get done, or some things you’ve been dreaming about, or simply make a plan to do the thing you’ve always wanted but you’ve got to get started now…and not someday, because there is no someday—that’s a false idea.
What needs to get done in your life? Really, what needs to be started or finished?
Is there a project that has been lying around since last Christmas? Do you need to take the time to update your resume, your will, or your insurance? Or do you need to clean out your closet, car, attic, office, house, or kids’ toys? What is the project that hangs over you that has caused you to stop when, with a little effort, you can pick it back up again and finish the job and be done and feel that sense of accomplishment?
When you talk to professional organizers, they will tell you that within hours of completing a long-standing project that has been hanging around, a heaviness will lift from the client’s shoulders; they say it is almost visible to see the change. I think that is cool. Just the fact that you did what you committed to doing will change your outlook for the better. Your mindset is a deadline, and now your spirit is waiting for completion.
Those of you who know me know I am all about cleaning stuff up and out from the attic, garage, closet, or office. Why? Because when you’re not weighed down with stuff (or junk, or dirt, or mess), you’ll create space for something new, better, brighter, or cleaner. However, it won’t happen until you get to work, and for many, listening, you’ll be doing the work by yourself. However, that’s okay because it’s about progress and moving you to a better place, allowing you to move in the direction of your dreams.
A while back, a friend came by the house, and as he was looking around, he said, “Where’s all your stuff?” And I told him, everything you see is all I have. I don’t have stuff just lying around because that causes clutter, and my working brain cannot deal with that. I know that might be strange, but sometimes I can’t get big things done until I have cleared out all the little things.
Now, I have to be careful that I don’t spend all my time on little things and not get to the real work at hand that needs to get done, but over the years, I have realized that I needed to learn how to handle things on my own, because people aren’t always going to be there for me…and the same is true for you.
Now that you have made your Saturday list to get things done and are working your way down the list to success, let’s move on to what you have been dreaming about. They say when your mind wanders to the place of your desire, that is where your heart will go. So if you think about painting the bedroom or, buying a new car, or going on vacation, start planning, saving, and researching now because there is a great chance that others will not be there for you, so you need to figure out what you want and then move in the direction of your dreams and desires, even if you have to do it alone.
When I ask, What is your dream, what would you say? A while back, I did a show called Dreams Are for Free. An artist I know gives out lottery tickets if you will write down your dreams on her form. What’s interesting is that many people didn’t write down big, audacious things, but rather real-life goals, such as paying for college, buying a house, or going on a vacation without worrying about the cost.
I don’t want to sound negative today, but since most of you will be pursuing your hopes and dreams on your own, I want to stress that you need to stop waiting for others to make you happy; instead, you must be strong enough to make the decisions that will bring you joy. And listen, I hope that friends and family will come alongside you to enjoy the ride, but if not, stop sitting around waiting. And, goodness, don’t sit around moaning and groaning—that will get you nowhere, so get going on your own.
When I travel overseas, I take an extra day or two to sightsee with a guide or on my own. I can tell you that for that 6-hour trip with strangers, we’re all friends – just sightseeing together, helping each other with photos, or walking together up to a castle. These aren’t my friends for life—they’re my tour bus stranger friends—but I choose to go instead of sitting in my hotel room, missing the sights, sounds, and history of a place. And you can do the same thing, no matter where you are; just don’t let life pass you by because your loved ones aren’t there for you at this time.
When you accept that you need to learn to handle things on your own, you will grow strong and learn to have faith in your ability, and, without a doubt, you’ll experience a sense of freedom of space, time, and place. And, who knows, you just might fulfill your lifelong dream to see the Grand Canyon, or go to a Broadway show in New York City, or have your photo taken at the Eiffel Tower in Paris…better to go alone than not at all.
So, whether it’s finishing your list of projects around the house or office, or if you’re going to make your long-standing dream come true, I’m proud of you for getting going in your amazing life. And for those of you who aren’t quite ready, let’s create a plan so you can work towards your future goals.
There are many ways to start. I encourage you to create a vision board—display photos of what you want to do, see, or become. It’s so much easier to plan when you can visualize the intended outcome. Without a plan in place, you’re just talking about a pipedream, so this is why you have your vision board. And if you’re not comfortable with sharing your dream right now, put your board on the inside of your clothes closet, so, every day, when you open that door, you’ll be reminded of where you’re going one day… then go online and set an alert for airfare or ticket discounts or whatever you need to get the job done, and keep a list of pricing, so you get a sense of the true cost. Then, start setting aside a little money each week to achieve your dream. Even if you have to start small, over time, with your work and vision, it may very well come true — and wouldn’t that be great?
