Deb Sofield

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Life Moves On…

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It is hard to understand why things don’t work out like we’d like for them to, and preferably in our favor, but as you well know, life doesn’t always give us what we think we need or want, and until we can settle on the fact that our plans will change with or without our acceptance—until we come to terms with that fact of life—we’ll always be chasing something that is hard to catch.

Because we don’t know what will happen tomorrow, we ought to make it our joy to live today.

Unfortunately that is not what many people believe, because we’re so caught up in ourselves and what we want and when we want it and how it is to be delivered. I know this is true, because I struggle with this myself in wanting what I want to happen within my pre-set time frame, but then, with no warning, life moves on and my world changes along with the movement of the world—sometimes in my favor and sometimes not—always moving, at least while I’m alive on this earth.

I see that unfolding because this is the time of year that many of my friends’ kids have found out that they were or were not accepted into the college of their choice. Now for some kids it is not a big deal, because their second or third or fourth choice is fine, but for others it appears to be devastating that they did not achieve the college that they had their heart set on. And this seemingly momentous disruption in life is causing them great distress and, for some, a sense of hopelessness. From my point of view, I find it concerning when I hear that these great kids with soon-to-be bright futures at whatever college they end up going to, begin to question their value and self-worth based only on the admission to a certain school.

I wish I could shout from the mountaintop that it will be okay, and in time it will settle out for the best—believe it or not—so don’t get so whacked out that you act out (and drag others through) your misery, hurt and anger.

I know that is easy for me to say, sitting here years later from my college days, but the fact is, for the life of me I can’t tell you what schools my friends graduated from—if they graduated at all. Life moved on, and so did we.

Now isn’t that interesting? When you look back and realize that, no matter what you and I felt at certain times in our lives, the simple fact is that life moved on and most of us moved along with it, maybe against our wishes sometimes, but somehow we grasped the fact of life—that it moves, and we made a decision to move with it, instead of being left behind.

Now, unfortunately, you and I know some folks who were left behind because they did not move on with life. They chose to sit out of the race and let the focus of not getting what they wanted end their opportunity.

Think back to your school reunion and remember all the people who let life pass them by, and you’ll be glad you found your way to the highway of life and rolled on out of your old town and along to your life as it is today.

I want to spend just a few minutes today to focus on the simple fact that no matter what you are going through right now, if you think life is ending or altering (if you let it), remember that life moves on, and I’d like for you to consider that, since it moves on, maybe you should too.

I’m not asking you to let go of your dreams, but let’s have a real conversation of what will happen if your dream comes up short or if it doesn’t come up at all.

What concerns me is that friends many times don’t seem to have a back-up plan when their dream doesn’t come true or never gets off the ground, or, worse yet, they are stymied by others who are jealous of your success. It happens more than we care to admit.

If you spend your whole life waiting for some magic opportunity to find you, or if you’re still holding out for a knight in shining armor to rescue you or if you think that working harder and not smarter will land you in the position of your dreams, ah, friend, let’s make a plan. Let’s do that, just in case all those hopes and dreams do not come true. Pease hear me, I hope they do! I hope you are wildly successful in your endeavors, I really do, but I have been around long enough to know that sometimes even the brightest are not chosen and the best-laid plans are set aside, or someone steals your chance. Hard to admit through your anger and tears that life will move on, but it does, and, no matter how you feel today or tomorrow or next year, your choices are… to move with it, or sit it out and let life pass you by.

A year or so ago on my show I did a program called, If “Plan A” fails, remember you still have 25 letters left.

And, believe it or not, that is true. Even if you feel like you are all alone, or if you feel like you have lost it all, you still have options (whether you can see them today or not) because life moves on and you have a choice to move with it to new places, or stay where you are and miss the new opportunities that happen when everything falls apart.

I love the quote that says: When you think things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.

And the poet Rumi has a quote: The wound is the place where the light enters you. Friends, where there is light, there is healing. Where there is movement, there is life. So don’t be afraid to move, be more afraid when your life comes to a standstill.

I have grown to really appreciate the quote from JK Rowling, that rock bottom became the solid foundation on which she rebuilt her life.

Some of you today are torn between the options of moving along to new opportunities, new places and new people or standing still right where you are, staring at the old well-worn life you know and live daily.

Some of you are staring at rock bottom, and for those of you who are and don’t like that feeling of hopelessness, let me encourage you to move on and look up. Look up to the ever-changing patterns of light in your life! Look up to the world around you that changes every hour on the hour and has for years, and then make a choice to stand on the rock bottom of hurt and pain and failure of your life, and let that be the solid foundation on which you rebuild your life—your way, moving in the direction of your dreams.

“Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges just at the point when our knees hit the floor.”~ Marianne Williamson

“Sometimes it looks like everything is falling apart and all you do fails, but you have to stay strong. Night is always darkest before the dawn and your life is just the same—the hard times will pass, everything will get better and the sun will shine brighter than ever.”~ Unknown

Yes, friends, life moves on, and, if you plan to thrive, you must climb aboard and allow the movement of life to carry you to new and better places! You may not know everything that is coming your way, but trust that all things work together for good—as hard as it is to believe—and trust that the movement that has begun in you or was thrust upon you by others is for the purpose to mold you into the person you were born to be.

And trust me when I tell you that it is so much better to grow into your future than to stand still in the wreckage of your broken life. My good news for today is this: Life moves on, and so should you.

Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield is a Keynote Speaker, Author of the book, Speak without Fear – Rock Star Presentation Skills to get People to Hear What You Say and Encouragement For Your Life ~ Tough Love Memos to Help You Fight Your Battles and Change the World, Radio Talk Show Host in the Salem Network, Podcaster and President of her own Executive Speech Coaching Co., which trains women and men for success in speaking, crisis communications, presentation skills, media and message development in the U.S. and abroad.

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