Deb Sofield


Keep Going

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Last week I spoke about the idea of Swinging for the Fences in Life—really stepping up to the plate and taking a powerful swing with all your might and watching that ball sail over the fence so you can round the bases and be proud that you really gave something your all and were successful.

I want to add to that thought this week with this directive. Friend, in this life, you need to keep going because there is a great chance that everything you need will come to you at the perfect time…if you continue on.

And that is the key, continue on. It is not easy to push forward when it seems like the winds of life are pushing you down or are pushing against you, but when you consider all the other times you hunkered down and pushed through. Let me remind you and encourage you not to give up, because for many listening today, I believe your success could be just around the corner…if you will continue on.

I often meet people who tell me that they are tired—they are tired of working, tired of their situation, tired of their life, and that’s a tough place to be when you have responsibilities, so, today, I simply want to bring a word of encouragement to help you focus on a few areas that seem to snag people when they’re feeling down and out.

I know it is easy for me to say today to keep going—continue on, and trust that everything you need will come to you at the perfect time. Before you stop reading, thinking that this is just another feel-good show without a message for you, my friend, think about this when it comes to your life…if you give up now, you’ll be back to nothing and with no dreams that are within your reach of success.

If you give up now, you’ll be back to nothing and with no dreams that are within your reach of success.

In my work, I see it all the time; it is a consistent pattern where people just want to chuck it all and walk away before they finish, because the desire to continue on is too hard or too vague; because many times it is not defined, or it’s not defined in a way that you feel will benefit you.

So in thinking about how you might want to stop and consider how to push through, let me give you what I think are probably the top three barriers to your outrageous success:

  1. You’re running from a problem that you need to fix.
  2. You’re making excuses instead of making decisions.
  3. You’re procrastinating.

Yikes! Any one of those options (or all three) are most likely the culprit of what is stopping you from going forward, from continuing on—from living the life you’ve imagined.

Let’s talk about your problems.

I love the quote from Marc Chernoff who has said, “We make life harder than it has to be. The difficulties started when… conversations became texting, feelings became subliminal, sex became a game, the word ‘love’ fell out of context, trust faded as honesty waned, insecurities became a way of living, jealously became a habit, being hurt started to feel natural, and running away from it all became our solution.”

Wow! He’s right, and when you think you’re running away from your problems, trust me, you’re not, because you know that one day you will most likely have to deal with them. Your current laziness—you slacker—is just taking up space in your head that you could be using to move your life forward but, no, you’re thinking you can outrun the mess you made or somehow got into. Hey, here’s some advice—fix the problem. Do whatever it takes to unloose yourself from the situation so you can walk away free, with no strings attached.

Not easy, I know. Some of you have really made a mess, so, friend, stop and figure out how to FIX it. Continuing to run from a problem you need to fix is just prolonging your pain. Maybe you’re into pain? I don’t know, but I can tell you, without a doubt, that you’re losing money, time, energy and (most likely) friends and family, because you are either too selfish, too self-centered or too senseless to loosen yourself from the contract you created when you got into this mess. And I call it a “contract” because that is how the other person is viewing the situation, whether you see it that way or not. So, to break your “contract,” you need to stop running, and face the issue that has gotten you into the mess you’re in. Fix the problem.

You also need to stop making excuses instead of making decisions. In last week’s show, I gave you the statement that to be successful you need to give your best effort and not your best excuses. I know it is easier to make excuses rather than make a decision; it just seems like your excuse should be enough until you can figure out what to do, but the funny thing is YOU KNOW what to do—you’re just not doing it. You’re living life in a holding pattern. Instead of solving the problem and making the tough decision—beginning or ending something—you’re making excuses that will just keep you circling and never landing—whether it is your job, your financial situation, your personal habits (thank you Ashley Madison website hack that has divorce attorneys cheering across America) or whatever else is just waiting for you to make a decision about.

Let me remind you about the outcome of circling around your decision instead of staking your claim. Just like a plane waiting to land that is being told by the tower to circle, if you’re not careful, you’ll run out of fuel and crash or, worse, you’ll be made to land at another airport and not your desired destination. And then you are really in a mess, all because you decided you’d hold out hoping you would not have to make the hard decision until it is made for you, but just know, when someone else makes your decision, it will be without any regard for you since you gave your power away. That’s something to think about.

And, finally, you’re procrastinating, which is similar to running from a problem or making an excuse, but it has a different nuance for my purpose today.

I find that many times we procrastinate or delay or postpone big and small events in our lives because we think we can’t give it the proper time it needs to be successful; unlike the other two barriers, not fixing your problem or making excuses, which shows your slacker, freeloader, lazy side. I don’t always consider procrastination a bad thing unless it is something that is due now and you’re just being lazy and not getting to it, so (instead of me hammering you again) let me encourage you not to procrastinate on these seven things that I think you should do now.

  1. I’m going to start with financial—find your will or dust it off and review it, and put your important papers in a safe place where someone you trust knows where they are.
  2. While you’re at it, consider writing out what you’d like done for your funeral, from the preacher to the music to your obit (get a decent photo of you while you still look good and make your obit interesting), or be assured your kids will put you in a pine box on a slow train to Georgia and argue over what little money you’re leaving them once the taxes are paid.
  3. Save at least one month’s payments for everything you have due. I know they say three months, but if that is too hard just set aside one month’s payments for the house, the car, the groceries and utilities…and don’t spend the money.
  4. I think you need to do something memorable, while you can, with your family and, yes, this will probably cost money, but I hear that many regret never doing anything really memorable to look back on.
  5. Clean up your space. Don’t make us haul your stuff to the dump when you’re gone. No one has time for that much work, and frankly, I find it selfish that my friends are taking valuable time from their family to clean out your stuff.
  6. Get your spiritual life in order. I’m not going to push you here, but think about the legacy you’re leaving.
  7. And, finally, forgive those who have hurt you. This doesn’t mean you have to be close again—you can love from a distance—but unburden your heart and mind and live free.

Not a long list, but one that I would encourage you to consider and, if you are so inclined, add to the list for you and your family. Simply stated, stop procrastinating, and do the things you can do easily today or next week. It will only take a bit of time, and will save you in the end.

It’s been said that there are two primary choices in life: You can accept conditions as they are, or you can accept the responsibility for changing them. Today I hope you will consider accepting the responsibility for the problem that you’ve caused and fix it, and that decision that needs your attention needs an answer and not another excuse, but most importantly, stop procrastinating on big and small things in your life. That will be an easy fix…if you’ll just get to it.

You’ve no need to make it harder than it is. You just need to remember that …if you continue on everything you need will come to you at the perfect time.

Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield is a Keynote Speaker, Author of the book, Speak without Fear – Rock Star Presentation Skills to get People to Hear What You Say and Encouragement For Your Life ~ Tough Love Memos to Help You Fight Your Battles and Change the World, Radio Talk Show Host in the Salem Network, Podcaster and President of her own Executive Speech Coaching Co., which trains women and men for success in speaking, crisis communications, presentation skills, media and message development in the U.S. and abroad.

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