Deb Sofield


Hey Good Looking

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When was the last time someone said that to you… I hope today or at least yesterday and maybe tomorrow…without a doubt I know you’re good looking and smart because you listen to my radio show and read my blog posts. But friends, how do you turn those good looks into opportunity?

Opportunity to do all the things you dream of, opportunity to be the person you desire to become, opportunity to excel in your field of work or study…believe it or not it has little to do with your good looks, smarts and lineage and everything to do with the skills you have, the disciplines you have, the personality you’ve acquired, the character and reputation you have established, and the language and speech that you use—all of that refinement makes you more attractive to your family and friends and the marketplace.

Did you know by becoming an attractive person you’ll attract opportunity, I was reading an article by my hero Jim Rohn and he was talking about the idea of how to bring opportunity into your amazing life and I have used of few of his phrases here in my message for today.

Because I believe that a lot of us are looking for opportunity…

Webster’s defines Opportunity as a favorable juncture of circumstances / a good chance for advancement or progress.

Rita Coolidge says, Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, pull back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it’s too late.

 Friends – great opportunity is waiting – waiting for you to move – to step up and to get going to develop your best so you can be your best.

Louis L’Amour said, Some say opportunity knocks only once, That is not true. Opportunity knocks all the time, but you have to be ready for it. If the chance comes, you must have the equipment to take advantage of it.

The key to continue making yourself a more attractive person is by developing your skills. If you can develop your skills, keep refining all the parts of your character and yourself, your health and your relationships, you’ll become an attractive person and you’ll attract opportunity.

In fact opportunity will probably seek you out.

Remember, the concept of personal development is the never-ending chance to improve not only yourself, but also to attract opportunities to help others and that is an added benefit of doing the right thing.

The whole concept of opportunity really does center on the ability to use what you have or set out to learn what you don’t know.

Let’s think about the skills you have – what do you do, what do you have, what do you know that sets you apart?

I can remember there was a guy at my church growing up and he always had a pocket of tootsie rolls for the kids…every kid in the church made it a habit of finding Mr. Daniel because we knew his skill was attracting kids with candy. Now I know you have other more important skills but when you’re 7 that’s a big deal…

I was doing a skills search online and up popped a lot of options but one that caught my eye was Lifehacker 10 Skills you can teach yourself…here are just a few…due to time.

  1. Learn to fix things…now I have to admit I love – love – love Home Depot and I love to fix things – my friends on the other hand are not so impressed with my desire since sometimes my trying does not lead to success – but oh how I love to try and when I succeed in putting on a new vacuum band because the other one was broken or replacing a light fixture I am thrilled with my handiwork… the sense of accomplishment is fun…not as fun as eating a box of donuts but close…
  2. Learn to defend yourself – I’m heartbroken that we have to learn to do this but we do friends. So be careful out there no need to start something that will go off track quickly and cause a fight or worse. And I’ll put a plug in for my sponsor Personal Defense Outfitter in TR – they can help you with all your defense needs. But don’t forget to do your part – like lock your doors when your just sitting in your car, install lights around your home on the outside, take a class to learn how to hit them hard and where… it could just save your life.
  3. Pick up a subject you missed in college – Whether it is online or in person you can go back to school and take classes that interest you now. I order from a company called Great Courses and learn a lot from teachers at top universities… it’s fun and I can do it on my own time. I also encourage you to check out to hear and learn from others.
  4. Learn to cook – really stop eating out for all your meals and start cooking at home – it will save you money and you’ll develop a great skills that will pay healthy benefits for years to come. Unless you’re making chocolate chip cookies…but you can add oatmeal to make it healthy.

So those are your skills – now what are your disciplines? have 2 that I like…

  1. When you get up in the morning – make your bed. Leaving something undone gives you the subconscious message that this room can be let go a little, so you do. One unmade bed leads to laundry on the floor, dishes in the sink, and then everything goes downhill from there…

A messy bed tends to give a room an overall sense of chaos, whereas a made bed can make even a messy room seem more put together. And it’s a small but tangible form of control over one’s environment.

  1. Keep your clothes cleaned and pressed – my favorite quote is from Coleman Cox who said – “Keeping your clothes well pressed will keep you from looking hard pressed. ” I love that…and it’s true.

So now you’ve got your skills and your disciplines – and you know I believe in the importance of a good personality. When my friends and I owned an ad agency they were enthralled with the Meyers Briggs personality tests – me on the other hand thought it was limiting and didn’t reflect who I was day in and day out so whether your are a INFP or ENTJ – on the scale of personality tests the fact is all that really matters is if you have a great personality and that includes having a great

  • Attitude – The capacity to stay optimistic and positive.  The #1 quality for career success
  • Enthusiasm – The possession of intense and eager interest in a subject or cause.  It is an energy that often inspires others.
  • Are you Ethical – do you live by a code of sound moral principles.
  • Are you Goal Focused – do you have clarity on the objectives that you strive for in your personal and professional life.
  • Listener – The capacity to suspend your own agenda and deliberately and empathically allow others to be heard.

(I pulled a few of these from the website)

Skills, disciplines, and personality are important but nothing stands up to character and reputation.

Character and reputation are the most important skills you must establish in your life to seen as a leader by others. They say that character is who you are when no one is watching… John Wooden, probably the most famous coach in any sport, delivered a line very similar to the one above. “For your pursuit of being the best basketball player possible, you should always assume someone is watching and act accordingly.” And he is right – in today’s world of NSA and camera phones – just know that someone is always watching – now it’s up to you as to what they will see.

And I couldn’t close out this portion of my show without talking about the language and speech you use. Friends your words matter and they will set you a part from others, make you more attractive to the marketplace, and will take you further than any other skill you could develop. Develop your speaking ability, learn quotes and poems and stories to keep others interested… remember for many – your voice is the only voice they hear – and that is your opportunity to change your corner of the world.

My favorite is – Even when opportunity knocks a man still has to get up off his seat and open the door.

Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield is a Keynote Speaker, Author of the book, Speak without Fear – Rock Star Presentation Skills to get People to Hear What You Say and Encouragement For Your Life ~ Tough Love Memos to Help You Fight Your Battles and Change the World, Radio Talk Show Host in the Salem Network, Podcaster and President of her own Executive Speech Coaching Co., which trains women and men for success in speaking, crisis communications, presentation skills, media and message development in the U.S. and abroad.

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