Deb Sofield


Can I Get A Yes

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I’ve got an idea this month. Let’s focus on saying, yes, to any opportunity that comes along, however big or small.

Let’s try it for just one month and see what happens, because I believe that once you get used to saying, yes, great opportunities will start to show up in your amazing life.

See, once you get used to saying yes, you’ll start seeing more ways to say yes. There is something freeing about saying yes to opportunity, because you never know when that yes will open another door, and that door may lead the way to the door you’ve been waiting for to swing open in your favor and direction.

Now I am well known for saying no to a lot of things that are routine—that’s not what I am talking about today.

I will always encourage you to say no to drudgery work that will not enhance your resume or standing. I will always say no to being busy for busyness’ sake. I will always say no to people who just “want to pick my brain,” because I just don’t have time for that. I will say no to meetings about meetings. So hear me when I say… that you should say no to anything that is not good for you, or your family or your bottom line. Life is a business that you need to pay attention to and focus on the future.

But here is where it gets tricky. You have to be smart enough to know what to say “yes” to. Really? What should you say yes to?

I’ve come up with a simple list to make it easy for you:

  • Say Yes to opportunities
  • Say Yes to decisions that will open doors
  • Say Yes to forgiveness and love
  • Say Yes to faith and family
  • Say Yes to the acknowledgement of your dreams

Say Yes to opportunities that will allow you to grow. The truth is that sometimes we don’t really want to grow. Oh, we say we do, but inside we’re happy enough, and growth is hard, and for some, they are fine to go through life and not grow through life, but that’s not for you (that’s for other slacker people), so…let’s get going to growing in your life through wise opportunities that you find and take advantage of. Remember, in this month of April we’re focused on saying yes to any opportunity that comes along, however big or small.

Things like taking a night class, or finding a wholesome hobby or even taking the time to read a book about how to market your business or put your idea into action. Attend a luncheon that you normally would not attend, or go with your spouse or friend to an event you’re invited to. You never know who you will run into and who may be able to help you down the road. What’s interesting is that your friends just need to be reminded that you are active in their network.

Say Yes to decisions that will open doors today and tomorrow. Not knowing what is behind a door usually has an element of fear, but for your success, friends, you’ve got to start opening doors. Your opportunity is something that you will discover by opening a lot of stuck doors, so don’t short-change yourself when it comes to rattling door handles to find the right door for your future. What is the worst thing that can happen? You open a door to an opportunity you don’t want. Fine! Close the door, and try the next one and the next and the next, until you open the right door at the right time for your future.

I don’t know what doors you need to open or close, but you do. You know what your heart’s desire is to build your future, and the reason some of you are having a hard time figuring it out is because you’ve not opened enough doors to find the right one to lead you to your opportunity. Keep knocking, friend; the right door will open at the right time.

I’ve seen it my own life and in the lives of my clients and friends. No doubt it gets hard and tiring to keep knocking with no answer, but what choice do we have when we need to move in the direction of our dreams. So keep knocking and opening, and then take a chance and say yes to decisions that will open doors today or tomorrow.

(Okay, here I go again, but, friends,) Say Yes to forgiveness and love. Can I get a Yes to forgiveness and love? Ah, friend, leave the old broken you and broken places behind and get going. And if you’ve gone through hard times in your life and love and marriage, then hit the re-set button and keep going. I didn’t say start over, because that not feasible for many, but you can re-set your relationship and commit—to the best of your ability—to be open and honest in your feelings and needs, so that saying yes is a little bit easier next time, and you’ll not be afraid to acknowledge the feelings of love and forgiveness. And, remember, forgiveness does not excuse their behavior—it simply frees your heart from the hurt and anger they caused.

I am constantly amazed when couples break up and I ask why and they say things like, “They didn’t meet my needs,” and I ask, “Well, did you tell them what you needed?” The answer is usually, “No.”

See, I hear it from bosses and employees and friends and neighbors, married, single and divorced, and they all say, “NO, I didn’t tell them anything—they should just have known.” Really? How can that be? Why didn’t you just say what you needed? No one can read your mind, and don’t tell me you were afraid. Hey, you spoke up at one point in your life. What happened? Did you forget how to speak? Come on, speak up and be kind enough or bold enough to strong enough to give someone a chance to change and treat you the way you want to be treated.

Friends, many times you have to ask or tell or explain to others what you need to make things better, because if you don’t work to make things better, I find that over time you become bitter, and we could have solved this little problem (because it always starts out small before it gets too big to deal with) if YOU could have just taken a YES to forgiveness and love.

Say Yes to faith and family. I am not sure what you believe, but I would ask that you consider the world around you, and think about how it came to be, and then allow your mind to see the amazing complexity of our world that is. And go ahead and marvel that, within the complexity of it all, there is a perfect order to things. Then look above yourself from a bird’s eye view at your amazing life and be grateful for your time and place on this amazing planet that is spinning in orbit within the wonder of the universe.

I have moved to a place that doesn’t seem to have the light pollution that my other home had, and now from my front yard I can look up and see the stars and planets so clearly and, honestly, it takes my breath away. I am also reading a great book* about the sun, so I am more aware of the sky these days than usual.

When I say yes to faith and family, I also want to ask that you slow down and realize that it won’t be much longer and your world will change. Family and friends come and go and life changes in an instant, so take the time to simply be—to be with friends and family and enjoy your time together, to be with your aging parents and crazy siblings and to rest with your kids (while you can) and with your life’s partner, while you are able. It’s been said that no one on their deathbed ever wished that they had worked more at the office. No, they wished they had spent more time with their family. Ah, friends, say yes to family.

Say Yes to the acknowledgement of your dreams. I am not one to push you to tell others about your hopes and dreams. I wish you would, though, because many times that keeps you focused, but I know that it can be intimidating if you don’t hit your mark. Please know that those who love you will not waste time judging you—they will spend time lifting you up and encouraging you.

But understand that just the act of acknowledging that you have thought about your next steps is freeing to your mind, because the mind seeks order, and when you can map out a plan for success, you have a much better opportunity to reach your goal than if you just keep it inside. Remember, all the doors you’ve knocked on? One day one of them will open, because you did the hard work and found your place.

You know I talk about writing down your goals on a piece of paper and keeping it in a safe place that you reach for when things seem to be going off base. I am a firm believer that you need to hold something in your hand that says success, strength, journey, peace, hope and love. Now you can write that in your iPad, but it just doesn’t seem to have the same sensation of seeing it on paper, so pull out that new Moleskin journal you bought and get writing for you and your future.

All right, I know that is a lot of homework for some of you to do this month, but, friend, you are so worth it, and for the small bit of homework you do, you will create your best life ever.

So let’s focus on saying yes to any opportunity that comes along, however big or small, because once you get used to saying, yes, great opportunities will start to show up in your amazing life.

I am convinced that once you get used to seeing yes, you’ll start saying yes. So I ask you, “Can I Get a Yes?” for your amazing life!

I certainly hope so… 

*Chasing the Sun : the epic story of the star that gives us life ~ Richard Cohen

Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield is a Keynote Speaker, Author of the book, Speak without Fear – Rock Star Presentation Skills to get People to Hear What You Say and Encouragement For Your Life ~ Tough Love Memos to Help You Fight Your Battles and Change the World, Radio Talk Show Host in the Salem Network, Podcaster and President of her own Executive Speech Coaching Co., which trains women and men for success in speaking, crisis communications, presentation skills, media and message development in the U.S. and abroad.

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