Deb Sofield

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Be somebody who makes everybody feel like (a) somebody

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Have you ever been around someone who makes you feel like you matter? Really that you matter to them and frankly that YOU matter in general? And it is not dependent on what time of day or night, or weekend, or if they are with other friends, or they find you by yourself, or even if they don’t see you for a while. But when you re-connect the way they treat you is with respect, kindness, gentleness, graciousness and sheer unbridled happiness that they got the chance to see you again.

Now you might be thinking that I’m taking about your pet who is always glad to see you. But I’m actually wondering out loud if you know of someone who embodies this type of kindness and sheer happiness when they see you?

Wouldn’t be great if we all knew someone who made us feel like we were somebody and that we mattered. Someone who, when they thought of us it was always with kindness and good thoughts.

I don’t mean to be negative but I would be surprised if 99% of my audience could tell me about someone (who is not a relative or spouse) who treats you with unbridled true love and kindness. Now isn’t it interesting we can all think of a few folks who are always nice or polite or even kind, but it’s somewhat of a stretch to think of someone who lights up when they see us and then makes us feel special.

Wouldn’t it be great if I could find a friend like that for you? Well, let’s think about it because wouldn’t it be great if you were that person?

Really! You could be that person who shows a level of kindness not seen very much in today’s world. Wouldn’t it be great if people said about you: “She makes me feel important every time we meet and he makes me feel valued.

Why does this seem like such a farfetched idea? Is it silly to want someone to make you feel special in an honest and friendly way? I don’t think so, in fact I think most of us would love to have a friend like that or be treated that way by our current network of friends.

When I ask, “How about you being known to be this kind of person who makes everyone feel like somebody,” I am sure I heard a collective sigh. “Well, Deb, you just don’t understand. So-and-so hurt my feelings, they forgot my birthday, they said something unkind to me…” and the sorry-list goes on and on.

I know it is hard to overlook a slight or to really think about forgiving someone and maintaining the friendship. But if you want to grow past that part of your personality, consider being the person who makes others feel valued. And the great thing is you can start today.

I am not encouraging you to be a fake. If you don’t feel like being a person who is kind, encouraging and thoughtful, then let’s not do it. Because if it is fake that will cause you more harm than good. You can just keep on being your grumpy self.

But if you want people to come to your funeral and say nice things and mean it (and not just come to make sure you’re dead), you might want to consider making a few changes in your daily interactions with others.

Really, how hard would it be to make others feel valued, truly feel cared for and remembered? Wouldn’t be great if you were the one person that others remarked about how you were somebody who made everybody feel like a somebody.

I think the world would be a better place if a few more of us would start saying nice things to other people. It is so rare nowadays for someone to give a genuine compliment…not because they don’t think about it but because it is just not in our nature to show that type of kindness or what I like to call Southern Hospitality- being kind in the heat and the hard times. You know those of us who live below the Mason Dixon line we’re know for our genteelness and respectable ways…now if we can just add that kindness to our words, we’d all be better for it.

Now let me remind you of the other side of that cordial compliment and that is when a compliment is given that you learn to say thank you and accept it. There is nothing worse or shows such poor manners than to degrade a compliment given by someone to you. It really takes the joy out of the day, and no one should have to convince you to accept the kind words given. So, get use to saying thank you and pay it forward the gift of kind words to others.

Because wouldn’t be great to be known as somebody who makes everybody feel like (a) somebody.

Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield is a Keynote Speaker, Author of the book, Speak without Fear – Rock Star Presentation Skills to get People to Hear What You Say and Encouragement For Your Life ~ Tough Love Memos to Help You Fight Your Battles and Change the World, Radio Talk Show Host in the Salem Network, Podcaster and President of her own Executive Speech Coaching Co., which trains women and men for success in speaking, crisis communications, presentation skills, media and message development in the U.S. and abroad.

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