Deb Sofield, Author at Deb Sofield

If You Want To Be Trusted Be Honest

Seems like a no brainer to be honest, but you and I know that some of our friends will skirt the truth for various reasons, none being worth the damage that a lie will yield. It makes perfect sense as you go through life, that if you want to be trusted, be honest. I had a friend who was notorious for telling (as she would explain) “little white lies,” as compared to green or blue lies, I guess. She wouldn’t even blink when telling a “little” mistruth, and over time I started to wonder where the “little lie” stopped and

The Emotion of Worry

I am continuing with my series on emotions. I started with anger because anger really hurts you and those around you. Remember, anger is a cancer to your soul. So, to have a happy life you have to let it go. Then I talked about the pain of shame. Shame is a Failure to Meet Your Own Standard of Behavior, and this emotion will play havoc in your life if you’re not careful. And I added in the thought that you that you should stop thinking that others have to accept your forgiveness for you to be forgiven. They don’t.

Sometimes Holding On Does More Damage Than Letting Go

As much as we like to hang on because we all like to feel like it is the right thing to do in our personal lives or at the office or with a friend, sometimes it might be best to just let go, because sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. Now, to be fair, that is hard to do. I don’t think most of us are wired to let go; I believe we’re wired to try, try, try and try again to make relationships work, office politics work out to some manageable agreement or to stay connected

Garbage In, Garbage Out

Seriously, I have no idea why people watch TV. Consider this a rant (and forgive me if you feel otherwise): in the space of two minutes of my clicking through TV channels in my hotel room, I saw horrifying and gruesome abuse (directed towards women), physical beatings of men and women, vulgar language and inappropriate insinuation of harm to kids. And we wonder what is wrong with our world! I have never been a big TV watcher. I taught myself years ago to put down the remote down and pick up a book. While I love any TV adventure that

Listen and Silent are spelled with the same letters – coincidence?

I find great joy every Sunday morning in listening to the New York Times crossword puzzle editor and NPR’s Puzzlemaster Will Shortz. Will is an American puzzle creator and editor, and I think it is fascinating that he is the only person known to hold a college degree in enigmatology (enigma tology), which is the study of puzzles. Who knew you could go to college for that? Well, anyway, I play along when he presents the on-air quiz to one lucky contestant and then gives a challenge for those of us listening at home. Sometimes I can figure out the

The Emotion of Jealousy

I am going to continue with my theme of emotions, which are causing you harm… because I want you to understand that you are more than how you feel, and you can (with help) heal the damaged places in your heart and mind. My first lesson was about anger, last week I talked about shame and this week I want to talk about jealousy. Oh, jealousy, the green-eyed monster that will wreck your perfectly happy home and make you (a normal person) become insane with rage and keep you at night fretting over things you can’t control. Other words for

Normal Is for Others. Amazing Is for You.

Recently I was speaking at a conference, and one of the other speakers quoted Maya Angelou, “If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” And I got to thinking that is a really great thought, IF you could convince yourself to let go of the low expectations you have placed on yourself, and then consider how working to be amazing would be a game changer for the rest of your life. What I have seen is that many people work and strive for “normal” (whatever that is), and in doing so, they give just enough instead of knocking

Outside of the Box

I was reading an article online last week and came across an interesting job interview question for one of my clients that dealt with thinking outside of the box. I know you’ve heard that phrase over and over, so it is not new, but I wonder why so many seem to stay in their boxes instead of moving forward, sideward or upwards in life? Is it because they are so comfortable in the rut of sameness? Or have they ground their wheels so deep into the mud that they can never get out and go anywhere interesting? You’re familiar with

You are the message

You are the message Recently I was having dinner with my friend Reba, and she and were talking about one’s life being the message they send to the world and that got me to thinking about the title of an old political book I read years ago by Roger Ailes called, You Are the Message. For me it was a book for those considering a life in public office, to remind us that every deed, every word; every action is a reflection of who we are and how we would be seen by others. From the Amazon.com website about the

Author: Deb Sofield