Author: Deb Sofield

Deb Sofield

Don’t Give Up…Unless You Should

If you’re like me, you heard the phrase often repeated by our parents, that we should, “never, never, never, give up,” Quoting the great Winston Churchill. Well, although that sounds nice and good, the reality is, sometimes you need to give up and find something else, do something else or be something else, especially when the direction you’re going in is going nowhere. And the damage you are doing will last a lifetime, if you don’t stop. So not to be disrespectful to my elders, let me rephrase that quote to say, Don’t give up…unless you should. Why? Because, sometimes,

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Deb Sofield

The Emotion of Greed

This is the last part in my series on Emotions That Are Causing You Great Harm, and I am going to finish with one emotion that is as dangerous as the one I started with. If you will remember, that was anger, because anger is a cancer to your soul and does great damage to others. So I want to talk about one more emotion that can wreck your life and that is greed. And that’s my theme for today. Let me do a quick rundown on the emotions I’ve spoken about in this series. If you want to learn

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Deb Sofield

Start Wading

When I was a child, there was nothing I liked more than to wade into the cold creek and look for crawdads and frogs and other creek life. Then we started taking our summer vacation to Isle of Palms on the coast of South Carolina, and my creek became an ocean. Back then the island was row upon row of summer beach homes (not the spectacular ones you see nowadays). Our beach bungalow was easily recognizable since we were very close to the “famous” island house called Tickled Pink, and yes, it was bright Pepto-Bismol pink. (My brothers would have

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Deb Sofield

I don’t know a single successful person

I don’t know a single successful person that leaves their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot. I freely admit that I am probably in the 2% of people who love to go grocery shopping. I always have a list, but I also like to wander the aisles to see what else is in the market. It’s not that I have to buy anything; I’m just fascinated by packaging, current must-have mineral waters, acai berry teas and live lobsters in the tank with the little rubber bands on their finger-crushing claws. I tend to shop everywhere because of

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Deb Sofield

Don’t Hold on to Grudges

I have been thinking about a few clients that I work with, and have come to realize that there is one thing that seems to hold many of them back from being amazing rock star speakers. That one thing is an old hurt from someone in their past who is now irrelevant and who basically told them they were awful speakers and to keep quiet. Now I don’t know what the teacher or another adult actually said, but to a young person, what they heard was, “Don’t open your mouth again.” And here we are years later, and the idea

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Deb Sofield

The Past is a Place of Reference Not a Place of Residence

I had a client tell me about a family situation that happened while she was in high school, in which, due to unforeseen circumstances and due to the economy, her family had to declare bankruptcy, and, in the blink of an eye, their lives had changed. Although that would be traumatic for any young person, this young lady’s parents held the family together, vowing to rebuild and continuing to provide to the best of their ability for their kids. Instead of allowing that experience to define this amazing young woman’s future, she simply used it as a place of reference

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Deb Sofield

The Emotion of Fear

I am continuing with my series on emotions. I started the series with the emotion of anger because anger is a cancer to your soul. So, to have any chance for a successful and happy life, friend, you have to let it go. Then I talked about the pain of personal shame. Shame is a Failure to Meet Your Own Standard of Behavior, and this emotion will wreck your life if you’re not careful. And I added in the thought that you should stop thinking that others have to accept your forgiveness for you to be forgiven. They don’t. Once

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Deb Sofield

Clutter is wrecking your self-worth

I have written about the issue of clutter in our lives a few times, but I keep coming back to it because I find, over and over, that there just might be that one thing that you’re holding on to that is actually holding you back from achieving what you want in your life. When I talk about clutter, I don’t just mean that you need to clean out the attic or garage (although those are good places to start). For a bigger life impact, you might want to consider tossing out a few things that are more personal to

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Deb Sofield

Be a weed

So by now, you know that little things in life make me wonder. Big things make me wonder too, like how many stars are in the universe and what are we going to do about the trash in our oceans and overfishing by some countries.  But sometimes my mind seeks to know how little things work, like how is it that a dandelion–you know, the little yellow flowering weed with a thick stem and hairy little leaves that I can crush with my hand and have it wither away quickly–can push its way up through asphalt, the road that my

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