Deb Sofield

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Social Grace

Manners Cost Nothing and Are Priceless

When was the last time someone said “thank you” or “please” to you? Really think about the last time someone out of the clear blue said “thank you” for something kind you did for them or said “please” when something was needed. Oh no! You can’t think of a recent time when someone said those magical phrases in a sincere manner? Well, sadly, that is my point today. It seems so rare to hear a kind word of thanks, praise, appreciation or encouragement that is not forced or contrived to get you to do something for someone. So with that […]

Living Life with Joy

I had a tremendous response to last week’s show that I called “To Life.” It was in memory and honor of a dear friend who passed away recently, but I didn’t want to focus on death. I wanted to remind you, dear listener, that you should live your life to the fullest every day. And I believe for that to happen, many of you who are listening by radio or podcast or reading my newsletter need to unloose yourself from the rules and expectations of others who steal your joy and make your life unpleasant. Today I want to continue […]

To Life

As I walked into his room, he was quiet for a moment, with raspy heavy breathing, lying there on the bed. All of a sudden, he started reaching up to the ceiling as if to pick apples from a tree, one by one, and bring them to earth (or in this case his bed). Apple picking—that is what the Hospice nurse said he was doing. They say that at the end of life, many times people will reach up and pull down something from thin air that they seem to be able to see. As I watched my friend seriously […]

Try Approving of Yourself

So the other night I half-heartedly watched a thread of a conversation unfold on Facebook, and it reminded me of an odd habit that I am seeing in so many people these days, which is being unusually mean and harsh about themselves in a public setting for the sheer purpose to draw attention to themselves and have others heap undue praise on them to help settle them down. They post sad comments and then eagerly wait for their “friends” to reply to the post, proving that they have value and that the sad sack isn’t that bad, that mean, that […]

Two Things to Remember in Life

As I was preparing for this week’s show, I came across a quote that I had written down a while back, and it goes like this, “Two things to remember in life. Take care of your thoughts when you are alone, and take care of your words when you are with people.” And this is my theme for today. As a coach, I find that many good people struggle with the thoughts they have about themselves, their abilities, their intelligence, their body image and their self worth. And, although I usually don’t dive too deep with them on these issues, […]

Encouragement in these hard times

A while back, when I decided to change the core concept for my show–from Speak Without Fear to Encouragement for Your Life – I felt it was more in line with my heart’s desire to be an encouragement to others. Now don’t get me wrong, I am still a 100% believer that your ability to speak and be heard is your best avenue to climb the ladder for personal and professional success, and I will always encourage you to develop your speaking ability, because it truly is the one thing you can do to change your life. However, as I […]

Change Your Life

For fun, this week I used Google and asked, “how to change your life,” and, lo and behold, you would not believe all the options that are just waiting for you and me to sign up and get going. Most of them had a multi-point-plan for us to get going, and others just laid it on the line for what we should and shouldn’t be doing to change our lives. After I read through the multiple lists of options, I had to laugh, because, although they all promised success in 429 easy steps, the fact is that none of it […]

Leaving a Life Imprint

Recently I was at the beach for a quick vacation, and as I was sitting on the shore soaking up the sun, I was fascinated just watching the waves come in and go out, a little closer to me each time, until I had to move my beach chair back from the water onto higher sand or be soaked in the salt water swirling around me. I couldn’t help but wonder and watch the power of the water on the shifting sands, and then how, within a few hours, all the work of little hands that built sand castles all […]

Don’t Give Up…Unless You Should

If you’re like me, you heard the phrase often repeated by our parents, that we should, “never, never, never, give up,” Quoting the great Winston Churchill. Well, although that sounds nice and good, the reality is, sometimes you need to give up and find something else, do something else or be something else, especially when the direction you’re going in is going nowhere. And the damage you are doing will last a lifetime, if you don’t stop. So not to be disrespectful to my elders, let me rephrase that quote to say, Don’t give up…unless you should. Why? Because, sometimes, […]