Deb Sofield

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Change Your Life

For fun, this week I used Google and asked, “how to change your life,” and, lo and behold, you would not believe all the options that are just waiting for you and me to sign up and get going. Most of them had a multi-point-plan for us to get going, and others just laid it on the line for what we should and shouldn’t be doing to change our lives. After I read through the multiple lists of options, I had to laugh, because, although they all promised success in 429 easy steps, the fact is that none of it […]

Leaving a Life Imprint

Recently I was at the beach for a quick vacation, and as I was sitting on the shore soaking up the sun, I was fascinated just watching the waves come in and go out, a little closer to me each time, until I had to move my beach chair back from the water onto higher sand or be soaked in the salt water swirling around me. I couldn’t help but wonder and watch the power of the water on the shifting sands, and then how, within a few hours, all the work of little hands that built sand castles all […]

The Emotion of Fear

I am continuing with my series on emotions. I started the series with the emotion of anger because anger is a cancer to your soul. So, to have any chance for a successful and happy life, friend, you have to let it go. Then I talked about the pain of personal shame. Shame is a Failure to Meet Your Own Standard of Behavior, and this emotion will wreck your life if you’re not careful. And I added in the thought that you should stop thinking that others have to accept your forgiveness for you to be forgiven. They don’t. Once […]

Clutter is wrecking your self-worth

I have written about the issue of clutter in our lives a few times, but I keep coming back to it because I find, over and over, that there just might be that one thing that you’re holding on to that is actually holding you back from achieving what you want in your life. When I talk about clutter, I don’t just mean that you need to clean out the attic or garage (although those are good places to start). For a bigger life impact, you might want to consider tossing out a few things that are more personal to […]

Curiosity

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu, Yes, that is my headline for today, but stay with me and learn why. I don’t know about you, but when I see something new, I file it away for a rainy day to pull out and review when I have some free time. I’ve been on the road for a few weeks now speaking at conferences, and when I was unpacking this week, I pulled out a crumpled piece of paper that was stuffed in my suitcase and it had this word (above) written at the top with the notation that it has 85 letters in the name. […]

The Emotion of Scarcity

I was on a plane this week and read an interesting book called Scarcity by Sendhil Mullainathan and Eldar Shafir. It was thought provoking from the standpoint that many people make serious life decisions based on a scarcity mindset. The book’s definition of scarcity is having less then you feel you need. Now, that definition is important on many levels, but today I want to discuss a few thoughts that really stood out to me especially when I think about how the mental emotion of scarcity can limit your vision for your life and your hopes and dreams for your […]

Goodwill Garners Goodwill

Recently I was flying to an engagement, and the in-flight magazine had a story about a staffer with a certain airline who had gone above and beyond what was expected for a passenger who had been stranded. When others in the organization heard about his good deeds, notes and letters poured in saying his kindness was legendary, and everyone knew his name and seemed to know of some display of kindness that he had shown to others at some time. At the end of the story, the staffer mentioned that the response from his fellow employees meant the world to […]

The Emotion of Worry

I am continuing with my series on emotions. I started with anger because anger really hurts you and those around you. Remember, anger is a cancer to your soul. So, to have a happy life you have to let it go. Then I talked about the pain of shame. Shame is a Failure to Meet Your Own Standard of Behavior, and this emotion will play havoc in your life if you’re not careful. And I added in the thought that you that you should stop thinking that others have to accept your forgiveness for you to be forgiven. They don’t. […]

Sometimes Holding On Does More Damage Than Letting Go

As much as we like to hang on because we all like to feel like it is the right thing to do in our personal lives or at the office or with a friend, sometimes it might be best to just let go, because sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go. Now, to be fair, that is hard to do. I don’t think most of us are wired to let go; I believe we’re wired to try, try, try and try again to make relationships work, office politics work out to some manageable agreement or to stay connected […]