Deb Sofield

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Encouragement for Your Life

You’ve Got A (Toxic) Friend

Recently, a client of mine who wants to the change the world was taken aback when I told him that he would do well to walk away from his “loser” friends. “How do you know my friends are losers?” he asked. I told him that with all of his community service, non-profit ventures and summer trips helping others that he had been telling me about, he’d also said that he’d been doing all of this on his own. To me, this was a sign that he needs different friends. “Out of your massive buddy group,” I said, it’s obvious that […]

Sometimes when you least expect it – you will win

Every once in a while something happens that restores my faith in how the world works… Recently, I came upon a story of hope where the good guy (or gal in this case) has a shot to win. Not to say the others in the race are not as worthy, because frankly they are, but this story touched me, so I want to share it with you. I’m talking about the Oscar nomination for Best Original Song sung by Joni Eareckson Tada for the movie, Alone Yet Not Alone. What makes this nomination so unusual is that both the movie […]

The one thing that you have

“The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live only as you can.”–Neil Gaiman I meet a lot of people in my work and travels and, as I have grown in my own life through so many life experiences, I have over time developed a 6th sense (as it were) to see past the façade of who many people want you to think they are, to the underneath of that person and their inside. Not the outside […]

It is not the critic who counts.

“It is not the critic who counts…” You know this phrase as well as you know your name but have you really thought about the truth contained in those seven words that have gone down in history? The fact is that the world is full of critics whose words don’t count because they don’t know you, your story or your future. And the sad part is that they really don’t care to know you; they find great delight in tearing you down because they need a stepping stone in their quest for significance. Never be misled by the critics who […]

Running away from your problems is a race you’ll never win

As I’ve gotten older I’ve really tried to keep myself out of trouble and I’m doing pretty well, thank goodness! It’s not that I go looking for trouble but sometimes it just seemed to find me – usually because of something I said OR it was something someone said I said. So I have had to be more careful because I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t want to cause harm. I want to be thought of as kind person. But often I look around and see that some of my peers, friends and colleagues seem to look […]

Givers Need to Set Limits

Givers Need to Set Limits, and because Takers Never Do. I saw an interesting video recently about a guy who taped $1and $5 bills, and maybe a $10 or two, to his jacket and walked around with a sign that said, “Take what you need.” Now, obviously, someone was videotaping the street interaction, and because the guy was wearing a microphone, you can hear his conversation as people read his sign, looked at him questioningly and then, hesitantly, took a few bills. All the while he would say to people, as he walked up and down the street, to…“Go ahead […]

Living to Your Full Potential

I am sure you’ve heard 100 times that you should live up to your full potential, and, although I believe that is true, I have to ask what does that mean for you? Have you ever thought about your “full potential,” meaning is there something that you’d give your all to, holding nothing back and being empty when you’re finished, only to refresh yourself and start over? If you were to look online, most of the sites that deal with living to your full potential are about leading and living your life fully in the 7 Major Areas: Physically, Mentally, […]

Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction

“Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction.” Francis Picabia Rule number one. You have the right to change your mind. Rule number two. Read and act on rule number one…always. If you were to ask me what I find interesting at this age in my life it is this. When someone sees the other side of an issue or learns something new or over time decides that certain things don’t matter as much as they thought, and then, through careful consideration and reflection, they make a decision to change their mind about an issue, theory or thought […]

You’ll never be the same again

Steve Jobs said, “When you grow up you tend to get told the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money. That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own […]